I am an American Soldier
by kettish
Summary: I am an American Soldier, Sora recited with the rest of his platoon with pride. To himself, he added, I also happen to be gay. Rated M for later adult themes. Yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

I am an American Soldier. 

Summary: I am an American Soldier, Sora recited with the rest of his platoon with pride. To himself, he added, And I also happen to be gay. Rated M for adult themes. Yaoi.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts II, Finaly Fantasy, or the US Army. I own only the concept of the storyline and any original or incidental characters described herein.

* * *

"I am an American Soldier. I am a Warrior and a member of a team. I serve the people of the United States, and live the Army Values. I will always place the mission first. I will never accept defeat. I will never quit. I will never leave a fallen comrade. I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, Trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills. I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself. I am an expert and I am a professional. I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy, the enemies of the United States of America in close combat. I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life. I am an American Soldier." 

-The Soldier's Creed, originally by Matt Larsen, Ranger and founder of the US Army School of Combatives. Later approved in its current format by General Schoomaker.

* * *

Sora paused, watching his interest with hooded eyes. Slowly, he tilted his head down to shade his eyes from the overbearing sun and to keep the object of his ovbservation secret. It was a trick he'd learned in boot camp, after he had realized a few of the other guys were starting to catch on. Sheer self-preservation had kicked in at that point, and he'd started changing the way he lived. 

Not that he stopped thinking the silver-haired number before him was the most beautiful man alive. On the contrary; his fellow soldier's homophobic attitude had only simply supressed any outward sign of it, sharpening his desire inwardly. He had managed a level of control in the service of his country that would impress Ghandi; he slept with the other men in the barracks, ate with them, drank with them, had even participated in a circle jerk or two without discovery. And sure, some of the females had their suspicions, but they wouldn't go to the NCOs or the guys about it. Sometimes, Sora thought, the female soldiers were a bit smarter than the average male; they knew something was up, but kept their mouth shut, because they knew he wasn't a bad soldier.

And being a good soldier was what it was all about.

Sora snapped out of his contemplations painfully as Roxas pulled him into a choke hold from behind and squeezed. Sora let out a strangled gasp and yanked at Roxas' arm, trying to get some leeway to breathe. They tussled a few moments amicably before parting and slapping each other on the back in the manner of friends.

"Ya gotta stop thinkin' so much or you're gonna hurt yourself," Roxas drawled. The boy from 'Bama had blonde hair that was as difficult to keep in regulation as Sora's was, and opted for a high and tight rather than the high fade Sora favored. He had almost delicate blue eyes, a wiry frame, and was infamous for being on his college's wrestling team before going in. The man could outgrapple almost everyone at the unit-except for his Captain Strife, of course. That man was an effing tank. "C'mon, Sora. Let's go get some supper."

Sora acquisced with a sigh. "Alright. You wanna eat at the DFAC or call for Chinese or something?" he asked. Roxas' face took on a rather pensive look before he grinned.

"Pizza." They both grinned.

"For sure. You got cash?"

"Yeah right."

"We just got paid last week, man."

"I bought a Playstation." This with a small pout. Sora looked a bit more interested.

"Games?"

"Burnout, HALO, the usuals," Roxas replied immediately. "C'mon, we'll go break it out." Sora looped an arm around Roxas shoulder companionately and they started off towards the barracks.

"So, how was your day? I heard y'all were going over to pack up the sensitive items connex."

"Yeah," Sora sighed. "I'm a freaking medic, man. I mean, they should get more supply guys to cover that. They're the ones that're going to be keeping track of all of it." Roxas shrugged, and Sora grinned slyly, elbowing him. "Where were you people, anyway?"

Roxas looked smug. "At HQ."

"Shamtastic." Roxas chuckled, and they walked a few minutes witha few other minor remarks.

"See that new guy again?" Roxas asked suddenly, a bit too casually. Sora glared.

"Later," he growled. Roxas frowned at the ground, kicked a rock.

"Man, I don't see why you've gotta be so damn paranoid," Roxas grumbled. "That policy expired not too long ago, y'know. They can't kick ya out for it."

Sora's glare remained set in stone. "They'd find a reason and you know it. It's not like I'm the perfect soldier or anything. There'd be some little thing on my record, or I'd do something, or if the guys found out they'd complain that I was hitting on them, and then, bam. CO'd recommend me for discharge." He sighed. "I gotta keep this job, Roxas. I signed up for it. And I need the college money." Roxas gusted out a sigh of his own.

"I just don't see what the big deal is, that's all. Plenty of gay guys in Atlanta." Sora looked a bit wistful.

"Be nice if everyone thought like that," he said, and focused his gaze at the horizon with lines of sadness etching his face. Roxas watched his sky-blue eyes be sad for a moment, and kicked another rock.

"Well, let's go get that PS2 out," he spoke gruffly. Sora gave him a look, and then slowly smiled at his best friend's attempts to cheer him up.

"Beat ya there," Sora said, and sprinted off.

* * *

A/N: I'm going by some very vague ideas of how gay guys get along in the military without getting beaten, and the number one rule is, NO FLAMING. So if y'all came here looking for Sora in a nice little knee-high dress and cuddling up to whoever I pair him with eventually, forget it. I'm going to stay as true to the real thing as possible. 

Also! I'm going to be going to school in the fall, but I'm going to make this a multi-chapter story (if you couldn't already tell). I don't know when I'll be able to write, how much, whatever. Please don't ask me when the next update will be. I'll try and make sure they come out with some semblance of a schedule.

Thanks, and please remember to support our troops both here and overseas!


	2. Chapter 2

It was several days later that Sora found himself pulling a truly god-awful detail. It was the detail that caused grown men to tremble in the boots, dog tags clattering and teeth clacking. He'd seen fully-fledged sergeants go pale and opt for paperwork, claim family deaths, and Captain Strife and out and out struck his name from the duty roster for it. And this weekend, it was Sora's turn.

He was pulling CQ.

CQ, the headquarters of a company, was open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. It was where the CO, XO, and the Ops NCO did their work. There were two phones in the office, and it didn't take someone of exceptional skill or training to monitor them and direct the calls to the appropriate lines (or, as was more often the case, to take a message). So it was the common practice to pull poor, unsuspecting little underlings away from their weekend of relief and debauchery to sit for 12 hours straight in the cramped, cluttered office.

Sora grumbled under his breath as he leaned back in the chair, pulling his arms behind his head provide a little bit more cushioning. Really, he had no idea how the Ops NCO Sgt. Highwind could stand it. He looked around the office ruefully and with more than a little curiousity. He spotted a little can of coffee in the corner next to the coffee maker, and some instant oatmeal.  
Papers were everywhere, but there did seem to be some sort of underlying method to the madness.  
Sora just couldn't figure out what method.

An hour or so ticked by and Sora went from simply bored to catastrophically understimulated. The walls seemed to being closing in and almost...were those walls buzzing? Sora shook his head out miserably.

Tap-tap-tap. Sora perked up. Someone was here! It could be a medical emergency, or maybe someone had gotten really drunk, or maybe it was something equally interesting! he bounced up from his seat and almost skipped to the door. (It was extraodrinarily hard to skip in military boots)  
He swung the door open with gusto, puffed up his chest, and growled out gruffly: "Who are ya and what's your business here?"

Roxas gave him The Look. Sora stood there expectantly. Roxas sighed.

"Private First Class Nakamura, delivering requisitioned goods." He held up a bag with some Chinese take-out as proof. Sora stood there a moment more, just for good measure, and then nodded importantly towards the office.

"Let's discuss this in a more secure area," he said, and held the door for Roxas, who grinned and went in. Once they were inside Sora dropped all pretense. "What'd you get me?"

"Sweet and sour chicken."

"Egg drop soup?"

"Yeah."

Sora's face was completely serious. "Roxas, you rock." Roxas laughed, and Sora could almost see his ego inflating. They tore into the food hungrily and were down to that last sweet dregs of food when there was knocking at the door. Sora started, but got up to go answer it. Roxas kept a lazy ear out, curious as to who it was.

"Private Aritake reporting for after hours duty," came a voice that managed to somehow be both crisp and sulky at the same time. The voice was deep, business-like in the off hand manner of the soldier, and all in all very sexy.

Does Sora ever have some kind of taste, he thought amusedly. Still. I hope he doesn't do anything he's going to regret. The "Don't ask Don't tell" policy may techincally be gone, but there're plenty of people in the ranks that'll do their best to get him put out if they find out.

Sora meanwhile was busy staring at Pvt. Aritake. It was the silver-haired male that he'd been daydreaming about on-and-off ever since he'd first seen him in the DFAC. Said private had been waiting for a few minutes now for the guy standing in front of the door to CQ to answer him, and finally cleared his throat.

"Ah-hem." Sora snapped out of it.

"Er, roger, sorry. There's a sergeant up in the barracks, but she isn't going to be here all day, so if you need to see her..." Pvt Aritake scowled, interrupting him.

"I need to see Sgt. Highwind," he snapped. Sora glared in return.

"Sgt. Highwind is gone for the weekend," he snapped back.

"So get me the CO."

"He's gone too." The private's scowl began to turn into a more thoughtful frown.

"XO?" Sora shook his head, a bit more sympathetically now that Pvt. Aritake had backed off on the hostility.

"No one's going to be here until Monday," he said. "They left for the weekend earlier today,  
around 1700." Pvt. Aritake finally deflated completely, and sighed.

"No use standing around here waiting all weekend,' he mumbled to himself. Sora nodded.

"I'll make a note that you stopped by and were ready to serve your extra duty," he said. Aritake nodded.

"Thanks man," he said, and Sora felt something in his stomach twinge. Aritake moved to turn away and head back upstairs to the barracks...

"What's your name?" Sora blurted. He fought down the blush that was trying to spread across his face admirably, and tried to recover himself. "I, uh, haven't seen you around here." In a training company, the majority of the soldiers all came in at the beginning of the training cycle and stayed in until graduation. The only exceptions were soldiers who had been held back for medical or disciplinary purposes. Pvt. Aritake didn't look like he was a med holdover, so...

Pvt. Aritake gave him a small, tight smile. "My name's Riku Aritake. I just came in from another company, so you wouldn't have seen me before now." He smile became a grin, almost feral. "And it's none of your business why I got moved here. So don't ask."

With that, he walked off. Sora stood at the door a minute more, puzzling, and then went inside to share his discoveries with Roxas.

A/N: I know, I know. It seems rather uneventful so far. But work days in the military tend to be like that! You just sit around and do what you're supposed to, and if you're the kind of person that likes being left alone to do your job in peace, it's the one for you. But it really can be VERY boring some days.

On another note. Acoustical Trance commented on Roxas being a Southern boy. And he is. I always could imagine him sitting on his front porch some early summer night, watching the fireflies come out to play.

The next chapter will come out when it comes out. :) Not to be snappy or anything. I just don't know when inspiration will strike! X3

As always, remember to support our troops! They're fighting for our freedom. 


	3. Chapter 3

I am an American Soldier

Summary: I am an American Soldier, Sora recited with the rest of his platoon with pride. And it just so happens that I'm gay. Rated M for adult themes. Yaoi.

Disclaimer: I in now way own anyone in this story other than any original characters which may appear.

* * *

Another week passed with a prolonged quickness. Sora and Roxas continued learning their MOS, their job in the Army: 68W, the combat medic. Sora had opted for the MOS because he wanted to take care of people. Roxas had a more long-time view of things; he wanted to be a medic as a springboard for a later medical career.

Combat medic training was very intense, it was said. But before the actual medic training could begin, all trainees had to pass a civilian EMT-Basic course. This was sometimes very boring, as a few of the instructors could only think to put together slide shows and make their poor learning soldiers sit through hours and hours of endless droning.

Sora knew it was all important. Really, he did. His worst fear was that he wouldn't pay enough attention and would miss something, and later on would end up essentially killing someone with his negligence.

Said fear did not help him stay awake for the slide shows any more. He struggled in the mornings to keep his eyes open, and after lunch would often wake up to the deafening SMACK! of a textbook being slammed against the table right next to his face. The instructors seemed to delight in coming up with ways to torment him, anything from making him hold his books in his hands out at arm's length (harder than it sounds) to fitting him with a C-Spine stabilization collar. (You've seen them. It's that dorky neck brace people wear sometimes after accidents.)

This week had promised to be a little more exciting than the last few; the instructors had promised to start talking about impact injuries and the mechanics of insanguination. Sora fell into formation that Monday morning with a feeling of glee. Finally! Emergency medicine! Blood! He could've cheered, standing outside that cool morning in his PT shirt and shorts.

That is, until he saw a certain silver fox fall into formation with the rest of his platoon.

Pvt. Aritake? Sora pondered. Of course. If he'd just gotten here, he would've just been assigned to a platoon. And Sora's platoon was smallest. It all made sense.

"C'mon y'all, fall in," Roxas yelled. He was the PG, platoon guide, and even though drill sergeants usually switched out who was in control of the platoon pretty often, Sora knew that Drill Sergeant Sephiroth Cohen thought Roxas was doing a hell of a job. Soldiers fell into the proper formation like they did every morning, and the squad leaders began taking roll for accountability. Sora had no real role in the platoon, as far as leadership went-most of the guys liked him well enough, but he just didn't have any leadership ability. He flashed his tags and ID at PV2 Kisaragi, his squad leader, and called out 'here' when his name was called.

Formation went quickly, as usual, as the duty drill went over the schedule for the day. Just another normal intructional day, with lunch and (with any luck) an early release.

PT for the day was running, which Sora wasn't half bad at. He wasn't a sprinter by any stretch of the imagination, but he could keep going after many others had to stop. It was something he prided himself on. The company stretched out on the CTA (company area) before heading out in their respective running groups: AA, A, B, and C. AA Group was the elite runners, the ones who could go fast and far. A Group was for those who were either one or the other. B and C Groups were for the people that really didn't have much running talent. Everyone was required to participate in PT in the mornings, if for nothing else than to make sure as many people as possible passed the PT tests. There was another one coming up in a few weeks, Sora noted absently as they jogged.

It was a short enough run that he had time to clean up thoroughly after he got back to barracks before the next formation. They usually had forty minutes, and sometimes as little as fifteen in which to get cleaned up, change, do a detail in the barracks, and get back to formation. And that wasn't counting the fact that they had to be ten minutes 'early' to formation to give their PGs and squad leaders time to take roll.

It was still a little brisk when he got down to the gun line outside of which this particular formation was usually held. He hugged his arms to his body, wishing not for the first time that ACUs weren't made so well for hot environs. Well, at least he had his winter boots on. He fell in and soon they were all marching towards the chow hall, shouting along to "Yellow Bird."

"A yellow bird

With a yellow bill

Was sitting on

My windowsill

A yellow bird

With a yellow bill

Was-sitting-on-my--Windowsill!"

Sora grinned, almost laughed. The chill outside did nothing to damper the spirits of the soldiers this morning; everyone had had a good run, and been on time to formation. That was all it took to put them in good spirits.

"I lured him in

With a piece of bread

And then I smashed

His little head

I lured him in

With a piece of bread

And-then-I-smashed-his--little head!"

Sora chuckled evilly. This was one of his favorite cadences EVER.

"A litle kitten

A small cat

Was sitting on

My doormat

A little kitten

A small cat

Was-sitting-on-my-doormat!"

Up ahead there was a flash of light hair, and Sora's interest piqued. Riku Aritake. Maybe he could manage to sit with him at breakfast, make a show of being a good soldier and welcoming new guys into the ranks or something. Sora was a friendly sort. The other guys would buy it. But first, to finish this verse of the song...everyone sounded off loudly, shouting outside the chow hall as they marched in place for the last part of the cadence.

"I picked him up

And made him purr

And then I ripped out

All his fur

I picked him up

And made him purr

And-then-I-ripped-off-all his fur!"

Some of the female privates didn't like that one so much. Especially PFC Kairi Panettiere, who had told him once in a big huff that he was a brute for enjoying the damn thing. Sora laughed, and they became friends.

The lines of soldiers began filing into the DFAC with machine-like efficiency, and Sora continued his pondering for a bit.

PVT Riku Aritake looked around surreptiously, not wanting to draw the attention of his drill sergeant but still curious as to the composition of his new company. He needed to know if there was anyone here from the last company he was in. Unlikely, seeing as how he'd come from another MOS school, but still...if there was, they could jeopardize his new start.

He sighed, returning his gaze to the hair of the male in front of him. It was short, like everyone else's there, but a tow-headed blonde that gave the impression that the man spent more time outside than in. That was his new PG, he mused, PFC Nakamura. Some guy with an Asian last name from Alabama, of all places.

Part of the conditions of his placement into this MOS program was that he be honest about his...preferences...with his leadership, from the platoon guide up. Riku hated it, hated the stigma he knew it was going to get him, but when he'd appealed the decision to LTC Mouse, he'd been clear. Riku could stay in the military. But he wasn't allowed to do anything that might jeopardize the well-being of anyone else. That included, apparently, the other soldier's sexual security, Riku thought with a tight, wolfish smile.

So what? he finally asked himself. The kid's from the most backward state of anywhere. He'll probably want to shoot me. Or get me out of his platoon. But so what? It's not like that's not what's going to be like for the rest of my military career.

So I'll let him know why I got kicked out of the infantry.

Riku's eyes hardened for a minute.

Bring it, he thought fiercely at the back of Roxas' head.

Roxas sneezed.

* * *

A/N: I know this has a lot of nothing in it, but I've got to get the whole thing set up so you guys understand what a military training schedule is like. (read: EXTREMELY STRESSFUL) You get up at 0400, do whatever you're told, and aren't left alone until you get up to your barracks,  
where...there are fifty other people in the room with you. You get no privacy, you get no time to breathe, and you get no time with your love interest (especially if they're civilian). It's a lot harder than it looks, and if you can take orders, a lot easier too.

You'll notice that Sephiroth's last name is Jewish, as there exists a Jewish 'Sephirot' who I believe was part of his inspiration. Also, Kairi's last name is the last name of the voice actor she has in English. Riku's last name is Japanese for "ultimate," which I just like.

Thanks for everyone who's already reviewed! I appreciate it a lot!

Remember to support our troops, as always. (You could support veterans too, if you wanted.  
laughs-I'm a veteran! They were troops once too!)


	4. Chapter 4

I am an American Soldier

Summary: I am an American Soldier, Sora recited with the rest of his platoon with pride. To himself, he added, And I also happen to be gay. Rated M for adult themes. Yaoi.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts II, Final Fantasy, or the US Army. I own only the concept of the storyline and any original or incidental characters described herein.

* * *

Roxas kicked back against the wall of the CTA, cold cement chilling his ass in an extraordinarily ass-numbing manner. He was filling in a report for his drill sergeant,something about preparing him for the world of non-commissioned officerhood. It was some report about the new private in the platoon, a PVT Riku Aritake who had been transferred. All the paperwork said was that DS Cohen acknowledged reciept of said Pvt. Aritake who had been transferred from a military intelligence school in accordance to orders issued by Cpt. Demyx Baptiste... 

Roxas' eyes went wider than a piece of artillery. Holy shit. No way!

He stared at the papers in his hands. That was what it said, though. And what the paperwork said was truth. Roxas grinned suddenly. Awesome. Sora was going to be thrilled.

Rough hands snapped the papers out of his hands, startling Roxas. DS Cohen stared down at him with cool, emerald-green eyes and a smile that didn't belong on his face.

"Now, Nakamura," he said softly, his voice deceptively calm, "I think that one was put in there on accident. You weren't supposed to see it." Roxas swallowed hard.

"What report, drill sergeant?" he asked softly, his voice agreeable. DS Cohen's smile softened almost imperceptibly, and Roxas felt something in his stomach relax, just a little.

The tall, imposing man stood, and left. Roxas let out a sigh he hadn't been aware he'd held, and watched him go.

So much for telling Sora.

It was such a fine afternoon, Sora thought cheerfully. The sun was out and shining bright, the air had that crisp edge to it that fall always did, and there was just the slightest hint of a breeze. He had on a pair of blue jeans and a medium-grey undershirt with a soft red-plaid shirt that was rolled up to the half-way point of his forearms. He whistled a swift jazz tune as he strolled with Roxas down to the cab stand that would take them off-post and into free territory.

Roxas strolled beside him in a loose turtleneck in a dark navy and a pair of khaki cargos; it was a bit different from his usual attire-loose, light, and made for warm weather-but with the way the air felt now, no one was going out without something a little heavier.

It was Friday night, and they were going to PARTY!

A quick $11.50 later got them to the San Antonio Riverwalk, with the large mall directly to their right. This was the largest mall in San Antonio that was easily accesible to the medics-  
in-training, since they weren't allowed to have private owned vehicles (POVs) for a while yet. They entered and walked with the swift in-step gait that marked them as soldiers across to the escalators and then further down to the food court that sat on the waterfront. It was a nice food court, Sora reflected as he ordered a pizza slice, with large windows and some large accent plants. It was a little too chill to be sitting down outside, but inside was excellent; the sun shown down warmly on them and kept them just the right temperature.

"So what've we got this weekend?" Sora asked through a mouthful of cheese and sauce slathered crust. Roxas gave him a dry look.

"One hotel room between the two of us, a hotel party across town, and for our own enjoyment," he gestured grandly to his backpack, "a bottle of tequila for myself, and for you, some mandarin vodka." Sora grinned without showing his teeth, trying not to gross his buddy out.

"You know me so well," he said sweetly.

"Only that you have what is probably the most massive sweet tooth I've ever seen, and I'm from the South, man. Sweet is what we do."

Sora waved his pizza slice in the air to make a lofty remark-

Splat. Sora started, dropped his pizza. He turned to see exactly where the 'splat' had come from only to see...

Silver hair, sea-blue eyes, and a scowling face. Pvt. Aritake glared down at the pizza on his jacket and then shifted his glower to Sora with some effort.

"Thanks," he growled. Sora swallowed the piece of pizza he'd been working on and just barely avoided choking before he could return the glare.

"No problem," he growled back. Riku blinked, and then his face changed; he was studying Sora now and Sora was pretty sure he didn't like the calculations behind those eyes. He twisted his face into a deliberately side smile, and forced an amazingly fluent laugh.

"Sorry, man," he managed. The smile he'd forced with the fake laughter actually helped him with most situations; he felt better because he could feel himself taking back control. To Sora, if he had control, it didn't matter what the other person in a controntation thought. He could find a way to diffuse it, even if it meant he had to apologize.

"I should've looked out where I was flinging my pizza," he chortled, feeling more amicable. He still couldn't resist a slight dig. "I was waving it all over the place for, like, what, ten minutes? I'm surprised you didn't see it and dodge." Riku stared at him indecipherably for a moment more and then laughed too.

"I suppose," he said, and moved to go find a table. Sora started hunting around to see if he had another couple of dollars for another slice of pizza. Roxas sighed inwardly and nudged him turning his famous Southern smile towards Riku.

"Come sit with us, man, we have a space," he invited. Riku looked almost startled but then just shrugged and pulled up a chair. Sora shot Roxas a grateful look before standing while Riku set his backpack on the back of his chair.

"Be back," he said, and left.

And then there were two.

Roxas studied Riku.

Riku gave him a look for a look.

Roxas raised an eyebrow. Riku looked away with an air of aloofness to an accent plant. Roxas decided that the game was over and it was time to begin suddne-death.

"I know why ya were transferred to the 68W school," he said casually.

Riku stared at him a minute, and then snorted in disbelief. "Sure you do."

"Yes, I do," he fairly snarled. "Don't play stupid asshole. I also saw your ASVAB scores, and you are definitely not." Sky blue eyes bored into Riku's sea blue ones, and Riku saw the knowledge there.

And he saw something else. "You," he exclaimed. "You, too." Roxas' face contorted slightly, and he looked away grimly.

"For all intents and purposes," he said softly, "no. Not any more. I mean," he laughed nervously and pulled a hand through his hair, "the pull's still there, but..." He trailed off, shaking his head. Riku studied him for a long minute, and then nodded.

"Ok," he finally said. "I guess I've got to trust you, at this point." Roxas nodded.

"I ain't telling a soul," he said, his drawl becoming subtly more pronounced. "I'm in the same boat you are, and besides." Blue eyes glittered darkly at the table for a moment. "You're one of my soldiers."

And that was all that needed to be said, for Riku. He understood the look in Roxas' eyes, that determination that lay there like pools of water after a rain. He was a leader, a soldier, and Riku was in his charge. He'd take care of Riku if it meant his life.

Riku suddenly had a lot of respect for the man. Roxas was going to go far.

* * *

A/N: I know it sounds odd to y'all, that Riku would trust Roxas so suddenly...but trust me. When you've been in, even a little while, you learn to recognize the look of a leader, an NCO, a man who will give his life for his troops and his cause. Roxas has that sort of determination and the leadership ability, I think. Riku, as a soldier, sees that and responds to it. So it's a lot easier to trust him. 

Poor Sora. So left out of the loop:)

Please remember to support our troops both State-side and abroad!


	5. Chapter 5

**I am an American Soldier**

Summary: I am an American Soldier, Sora recited with the rest of his platoon with pride. To himself, he added, And I also happen to be gay. Rated M for adult themes. Yaoi.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts II, Finaly Fantasy, or the US Army. I own only the concept of the storyline and any original or incidental characters described herein.

* * *

After eating at the food court, all three of the guys decided it was definitely time to go explore the city. San Antonio was a big place, after all, and it was only their second or third weekend of freedom. There was a lot of ground to get covered, a lot of bars to saunter into (and promptly be kicked back out of, in Sora's case), and stuff to buy at the mall. 

"We're already here," Roxas suggested, "we might as well look around the mall first." Sora and Riku agreed.

"First things first," Sora said. "I need new running shoes. And new clothes." Riku glanced down at where Sora gestured only to realize that Sora's pants were a little too short. Upon closer inspection, he also noticed that Sora's sweater-though in decent condition-did look a bit worn.

Sora flushed at Riku's inspection, and scuffed his feet a little, mumbling, "It's just that we didn't have too much money at home. That's all." Riku and Roxas nodded, and Sora took the motion as permission to grab them both and drag them off to the nearest clothes store.

"Ah, Aeropastle," Roxas said with a big whiff. Sora was already busy looking at a thermal shirt he'd located. Riku stepped lightly through the store, as though it were going to hurt him if he brushed up against an article of clothing.

"Why are you two shopping in here?" he asked, sniffing a tad snobbishly. "There are better places, you know." Sora and Roxas stopped, stared at him.

"Like?" Riku smirked.

"Let me show you," he said cheerfully, and dragged them away.

It was several hours later that Riku finally, grudgingly admitted that there wasn't anything much better. This is nothing like New York, he grumbled silently to himself. Where's all the damn high-end stores? Nowhere.

Roxas and Sora were back to picking through Aeropastle. Sora had an armful of clothes he wanted, and Roxas had selected a plain white, fluffy scarf.

"That's nice," Riku said, almost in surprise. Apparently, the blonde man had a bit of fashion sense. Too bad he wasn't from New York, Riku thought wistfully. We could've gone shopping.

Sora disappeared into a dressing room with his soon-to-be purchases, and Riku and Roxas stood around chatting for a bit, waiting on him.

He reappeared a minute later, and Riku couldn't help but stare. How...

Sora was in a charcoal grey thermal shirt that clung to his chest nicely, accentuating the muscle he'd managed to acquire in the service. The khakis hung on his hips at just the right angle, and showed off the muscle in his calves from running almost daily. On top of the shirt he'd let his dog tags hang out, and they glistened nicely against the grey shirt.

Riku wasn't sure he'd ever seen anyone with such oddly subdued musculature, but it worked on Sora. Lean was the word, he decided finally, and it was then that he noticed Sora talking to him.

"Whatcha think?" he asked, and Roxas' ears perked at the slightly anxious tone in his friend's voice. So Sora was testing Riku, he thought with a smirk. Now, if Riku will just realize that...

"Nice," Riku finally managed. "Didn't think you'd be able to find nice clothes like that here." Sora's grin broke free of the nervousness that had been reigning it in, and it was dazzling.

"Sweet!" he said, punching the air above him in an odd gesture. Riku couldn't help but smile a little at his excitement; the boy obviously had some confidence issues he needed to work on, if he was depending on an almost complete stranger to approve his wardrobe. As he was thinking, he missed Sora's devilish look at Roxas, who looked startled.

So Riku was startled when Roxas broke out in loud laughter, and he gave him an inquisitive look.

Roxas shook his head, wiping tears from his eyes. Lord, he thought, help Riku. I've seen that kinda look on Sora before only once, and now I'm worried for the poor guy.

"Riku," Roxas said, throwing an arm around his new friend's shoulders, "Sora is a deep and complex individual. I've known him since Basic, and still don't know what to expect from him all the time." He chuckled.

He'd seen that look on Sora's face just once, before a mock-up ambush in Basic Training. They'd been under Sora's leadership at the time, and they'd completely annihilated the other trainees.

Lord help Riku. He was going to need it.

Sora undressed in the cramped little fitting room and grinned to himself. I know that look, he practically sang to himself. I've seen the look Riku gave me before. He was interested. He was interested! There's a chance.

He hummed softly to himself as he gathered up his clothes and went to pay for them before meeting his buddies outside the store. Riku looked puzzled still, and Roxas was whistling a jaunty tune from his home.

"What d'y'all want to do now?" Roxas asked. Sora shrugged.

"I've got my clothes," he said cheerfully. "We can do whatever you feel like."

"It's getting dark," Riku said. "Were you two going to get a room somewhere?" They nodded; it wasn't uncommon for two guys to share a room to cut costs, unless, of course, someone had a girlfriend or an easy lay. Since that wasn't the case, they'd planned on a small hotel just off-post that was fairly cheap.

"Yeah. You?"

Riku shrugged, non-commital. Roxas and Sora exchanged looks that said, 'Uh-huh. He's being stubborn.'

"Come room with us man," Roxas said. Riku shrugged noncomittally, secretly glad for the invitation.

"'kay." Sora nudged Roxas.

"We're going to have to get something else to drink then." Roxas blinked; he'd forgotten he was toting around alcohol.

"Good deal. I'll run out."

"Don't worry about it," Riku said, "I'm old enough. I can get my own." Having worked out arrangements for the evening, they all started strolling back towards the cabby stand to catch a taxi over to the hotel.

It was a small room, but they had managed to get a double, so it could've been worse. They turned on the TV first thing, and just chilled in the comfort of a room away from post, away from drill sergeants and duty and uniforms. They could watch whatever they wanted, they could eat whatever they wanted, they could say and do and wear whatever they wanted.

And that was good enough.

Sora had changed back into his new outfit, ready to be rid of his old clothes, and was lounging on the bed with all the liquidity of a feline. Riku had picked the floor, leaned up against the other bed, and Roxas was on the desk chair, kicked back with his feet propped against the bed. There was an air of relaxation to them, but tension lay underneath it, thick and nervous; Sora and Roxas still didn't know Riku very well, and it was beginning to show. Roxas bore it in good spirits for the first ten minutes, and then suggested they begin drinking.

Sora and Riku agreed readily, and each took to their own bottle.

Drinking in the military-to the younger, usually single guys-was more than a habit; it was practically an assured activity, regardless of age. It was used as a measure of a man, in a way, and many great stories were spawned from late-night drunken activities. The females drank too, but were usually quieter about it during the week and less enthusiastic. Some of them drank too much and did things they regretted, and more often than not sexual harassment or rape charges involved alcohol.

But between a few friends, in a small hotel room away from the glitz and bang of the Riverwalk, was usually alright. As long as you were sober for duty the next day, the drill sergeants wouldn't ask and the soldier's wouldn't tell.

Riku pulled his liquor out of the brown paper bag he'd returned with, and Sora and Roxas stared.

"Everclear?" Sora asked incredulously.

Riku smirked. "Yep."

Roxas looked a little worried. "That shit messes you up, man." Riku's smirk widened.

"I know."

Sora and Roxas exchanged looks again, and then shrugged uneasily. Well, hell. If he messed himself up that bad, they were medics. They'd know when to take him to the hospital if they had to. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that-Riku'd get in a lot of trouble if it did-but better that than he die from alcohol poisoning.

"Shot one!" Sora said, and threw it back. Roxas decided to order pizza, and Riku put the bottles back in the fridge. There's nothing nastier than warm liquor, after all.

It was much, much later, and all three of the guys were (predictably enough) shitfaced. Sora was sprawled out on the floor with a lazy grin gracing his face, and Roxas had gone to sleep a while ago. Riku sat up against the bed still, looking blearily down at Sora.

"What're you looking at?" he slurred curiously. Sora stared at the ceiling a moment longer before shifting his gaze to Riku with another lazy, drunk grin.

"Ceiling," he answered. "And now you." He laughed a little. "It's funny. First I look up, and then I look over. Now all I gotta do is look down." He looked down at his chest, craning his neck stiffly before letting his head hit the floor again.

"Ow," he complained. Riku snickered.

"Dumbass," he said. Sora raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? Really? I'm not dumb. I'm just drunk." Riku laughed out loud this time.

"You are so stupid," he said, and with inhibitions gone, he did the absolute worst thing he could have. "Look at you. You're lying on the floor. And, like, earlier? You had to have our approval to buy those damn clothes, like you couldn't make up your own fucking mind." Riku snickered again. "Fucking dumbass. Weak."

Sora's fist tightened, and then it was directly in Riku's face.

Riku felt Sora's fist hitting his cheek with a sort of numb disbelief. He's hitting me? He wasn't like this earlier. But then he was angry, and lashed back at Sora.

Sora dodged with an odd grace that shouldn't have worked with the amount of alcohol he'd consumed, but did anyway. There was a loud crack as Sora slammed his fist into Riku's face again and Roxas finally woke up.

"Nuh...wha? Sor-oh, shit! Sora, cut it out, man! Stop it!" Roxas wrested Riku from Sora's grip and threw the silver-haired boy down onto the bed he'd been previously occupying. Sora growled gutteraly, and Roxas did the only thing he could.

He slammed Sora against the wall, hard, and pinned him there.

"Sora! Cut it out, man! Whatever he did to you, just forget it!" Sora gave him a sullen look, then batted Roxas' arms away. He stalked over to the bathroom and shut the door, angry, but back in control of himself.

Roxas looked at Riku, who was still looking stunned, and had a large bruise beginning to discolor his chin. Roxas glared at him, and Riku just stared back in shock.

"Whatever you said, I'm pretty sure it wasn't anything he deserved," Roxas snapped at him. "Jackass. And I know you said something-he's never snapped like that without provocation."

Riku's blank expression changed to one of anger, and he opened his mouth to say something, but Roxas cut him off by shoving him back down on the bed and crowding him, pushing his face right up against Riku's. Riku felt warm breath on his face, and could smell the tequila he'd been drinking. Riku swallowed, hard, and tried to concentrate.

"He fucking had it coming," Riku hissed back, struggling. "Fucking dumbass. I just told him the damn truth-he's stupid-..." The look in Roxas' eyes cut him off; it was a truly startled look, quickly followed by a pitying one. Roxas shook his head, got off of Riku.

"God," Roxas said. "If that's what you think, then God help you. He's the farthest thing from I've met in a long while." He pinned Riku with a look this time, and shook a finger at him.

"You'll learn," he said, and walked over ot the bathroom to get Sora to let him in.

Riku rubbed his aching jawbone and wondered what the hell Roxas had meant for a total of five seconds before he decided he didn't care and passed the hell out.

* * *

A/N: Yeah, yeah, Sora may seem a little out-of-character, but then, that's what alcohol will do to you. You lose your temper REALLY quick. And it's sort of a sore point for Sora, the stupidity thing is. 

People in training seriously do drink a LOT. Even I did. I literally drank until I was rolling back and forth on my bed giggling. (I considered letting Sora do that, but I'd written enough Shallow!Sora for the chapter, and felt the need to let his darker, more serious side show. More of that to follow.)

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed this story so far and have kept reading! To my knowledge, that would include: Alcorion, Accoustical Trance, angstergangster, Ro-chan13, Chizz-muffinChik, Immortal fisheh, and YaoiFanGirl101. It always encourages me to write when people read what I write, and even tell me they enjoyed it or ask questions! And if y'all ever have any questions about the military, I'll do my best to answer them. Feel free!

Remember to support our troops both State-side and overseas. They're fighting for you, and it helps them if you even just write them a letter. Even if you don't support the war, support the soldiers in it!


	6. Chapter 6

I Am an American Soldier. 

Summary: I am an American Soldier, Sora recited with the rest of his platoon with pride. To himself, he added, And I also happen to be gay. Rated M for adult themes. Yaoi.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts II, Finaly Fantasy, or the US Army. I own only the concept of the storyline and any original or incidental characters described herein.

* * *

Sora had strange and wonderful dreams.

Usually when he had been drinking, he didn't dream-he slept the long, darkened sleep of the drunken. He usually woke up stiff and with a blaring headache, and more often than not these last few weeks next to his best friend. He knew they didn't do anything, and so it was actually very comforting. Like some tremendous sleepover that he couldn't remember.

So it was unusual for him to have such vivid dreams.

In his dream he was running. He was running for the sheer joy of running, for how it bonds each to his comrade, and because he wanted to go somewhere. He knew in his dream that where he was going was somewhere far, far away and yet so close he could taste it. He also knew in his dream that it really wasn't close at all, but that he wanted it so badly that he could smell it, feel the air where he was heading, knew that it was a good place and that once he was there he'd be happy forever.

In his dream he had four paws, and fur and fang and eyes that glistened blue and shades of green in the moonlight. There were stars that ran with him overhead, and he howled to them in the sheer ecstasy of his movement. They laughed with him as his tongue lolled out and he panted in the air he needed to keep running.

Sora woke with the smell of that place in his nose and the feeling of laughter on his lips. He came to slowly, and observed his surroundings. Warm sunlight filtered in through the curtains of the hotel room they'd rented for the night, and he felt the sheets slide against his legs and arms in a way that was both more coarse and less smooth than he was used to. He sighed, and sat up lazily, moved his hand up to rub his eyes-and winced.

"Owch," he mumbled, still partially asleep. "Mrghmmm...why does my face hurt...?"

Roxas grumbled and rolled over, trying to sleep. "Because you punched his face and he punched back you dumbass." Sora's eyebrows pinched together immediately, trying to recall.

"What?" he asked.

"Shut up," Riku moaned from the next bed. "Head hurts. Shut up." Sora sat up farther, peeked over Roxas to look at Riku.

And winced again. I did that? He wondered to himself. Well shit. He sighed, got out of bed carefully so as to not disturb Roxas further, and went to the bathroom. He'd slept in his new clothes apparently, sans the shirt. He'd probably chucked that off the side of the bed some time in the night...it was rather warm in the room. He brushed his teeth and adjusted the temperature in the room mindlessly, and wondered about what to do with the day. It was Saturday now, a good long free day, and he didn't feel like just sitting around waiting for his hangover to wear off.  
He wanted to do something, or go somewhere, or something!

But for now, he brushed his teeth patiently and rid himself of the taste of liquor and blood from the night before. It was good to have a clean mouth, he decided. Now all I need is some breakfast.

He was mostly dressed, so he threw his shirt on and left a quick note for Roxas before heading out the door. It wasn't a good idea late at night to wander around San Antonio alone-hell, most times it wasn't a good idea. Once a soldier in training was back on-post he or she was required to have a 'battle buddy' with them at all times-another soldier-in-training of the same gender. So most times Sora made sure to be with someone, so that he wouldn't get stuck..but it was Saturday, his friends had his cell number, and he wanted food. He loaded himself into the cab and headed back towards Riverwalk.

The first weekend they'd had off they had walked up and down the Riverwalk for a fair distance both ways. It was nice at night-lively, and vaguely Hispanic in its color and decor and atmosphere-but in the mornings...it was lovely. Bright cold sunlight cascaded through the trees to dapple quietly on the waters of the river. There was a particular restaurant he liked to eat at for breakfast-Zulu's Grill-that had an absolutely delicious buffet breakfast. He sat down at one of the outside tables, ordered, and fetched his food.

It was a happy sort of morning; one that brought a sense of peace and contentment he hadn't been able to enjoy in a while. He took a deep lungful of the chill, slightly damp air and then took a bite of the breakfast food he'd gathered, enjoying the contrast of the warm food and the cold outside.

He was halfway through his plate and considering if he should go for seconds-he only had as much tone as he had because he didn't eat as much as he wanted on the weekends!-when the hard jazz notes of "Tank" issued forth from his cell phone, interrupting his ponderings.

"HEL-lo," he chirped cheerfully.

"Sora, where are you?" Roxas sounded half asleep, half annoyed.

"I left you a note," Sora said accusingly. Roxas sighed into the reciever.

"Look. Just tell me where you are and we'll come join ya in a bit, OK?" Sora shrugged, aware his friend couldn't see the action.

"Good deal. Zulu's. Wear a jacket, it's chilly."

"Yes, mama," Roxas said mockingly, and hung up. Sora chuckled as he put his phone away. Roxas never was much of a morning person outside of work. On the job he could be up as early as 0330 and still be intelligible.

He savored the silence of the morning that lay before him and drank it in with his cocoa. There really was nothing like that golden soundless noise, that gentle breeze blowing in his hair, a few people chatting here and there, and water lapping against the side of the river.

Sometimes, he thougth to himself as he took another quiet sip, it's good to be alone.

Roxas grumbled as he dressed and washed his face. That damn Sora. He knew better than to wander off like that. He gave Riku's bed a kick and went to relieve himself in the washroom.

"Mghrmmm." Riku moaned. "Whaaat?"

"Get up," Roxas said shortly. "Sora's gone ahead for breakfast."

Riku groaned again. "Why? It's only..." he squinted at the clock. "Fuck, I left my contacts in. It's what, 0900?" Roxas grunted an affirmative, not in the mood for speech yet. Riku moaned again. "Do we have to?"

"Yes," Roxas snapped. "We do. Or you can stay here and mope around by yourself all day. Make your choice." Riku grumbled, somewhat taken aback by Roxas' attitude, but got up and dressed. He pulled a pair of medium blue jeans out of his bag and a black t-shirt that showed off his chest and paired it with some brown leather sneakers and a gold cross and chain. It was a small cross but it made Roxas take a second look.

"Nice," he said after a short inspection. Riku shrugged.

"Was my dad's," he said by way of explanation. Roxas nodded, pulled on his new scarf, and made one last sweep of the room to make sure they didn't leave anything behind before leaving.

Sora, of course, had left his bags for them to carry. Punk. Roxas swore to himself that there would be hell to pay for that kid the next time he saw him. Jerkface.

But when they met up with the kid at Riverwalk, Sora was in such a good mood that Roxas couldn't bring himself to be angry. He just put the bag down gently beside him and earned a bright, quicksilver smile from his friend, easily returned.

"About time you two showed up," he teased gently. Riku blinked. This was the guy who'd clocked him last night so soundly? He looked so peaceful now that he probably couldn't hurt a fly, there with his hot cocoa and gently teasing his best friend.

"Yeah, well," Riku said with a shrug, "I had to reshape my face this morning after you felt the need ot rearrange it last night." A shadow of guilt passed over Sora's face, and Riku instantly felt bad for saying it. But it was true, and dammit, the kid SHOULD feel bad for roundhousing him like that!

Even if he had asked for it.

"Well," Sora said after an awkward minute, "the food here's really good. You should go get some before they close the breakfast buffet." Roxas nodded and walked by Riku, grabbing him and taking him along as he went.

"What was that for?" Riku asked, annoyed.

"For trying to rub in something Sora doesn't even remember, much less caused," Roxas said. Riku glowered, wrenched his arm from Roxas' grip.

"Look," he growled, "you can't be his guardian all the damn time, you know. Eventually someone's going to take him from you." A cunning glint entered his eye. "Or is that what you're worried about?"

Roxas looked like he wanted to punch him, but refrained, instead turning his back on the man and going back to scooping out potatoes onto his plate. Riku ground his teeth at the slight, but ignored it for his food too.

They ate, and Riku and Roxas managed to enjoy the morning out too after a while. Gradually they all relaxed, and began enjoying their time off; a conversation begin slowly, and soon they were all telling stories of their homes.

Roxas was a home-grown 'Bame boy, born and bred in the South. He was raised in Southern tradition, all politeness and good hospitality and home-cooked meals. He'd left home to study for the medical field but had run up against student loans, and decided to go into the military to pay it off (and get a bit of a headstart on his medical studies as a medic). He talked of his mom, and his old friends, and the pranks they pulled in high school.

Riku talked about his studio apartment up in New York, where he'd lived last as an artist. He explained about his family, which had been rich, and how he'd gone to private schools growing up with all the best of the best. He had a slight rant about the lack of culture in the military and pouted a little about how he couldn't get his magazines and that there weren't any good museums in San Antonio. He even found himself telling them how he moved out when he was sixteen and lived on his own (with some help from his parents). Roxas snickered; his family had been well-to-do, but he hadn't been as...spoiled...as Riku.

There came the lull in the conversation that signalled Sora's turn, and he felt himself growing withdrawn. He didn't want to talk about his past, really, but the other guys had...and they'd been open with what they'd said. He sighed, slid his shirt sleeves up to welcome the chill, and began.

"I was born in a small town near Atlanta," he said softly, "to a poor single woman who thought she could be a mother. Unfortunately, she had neither the money nor the patience to be a mom right then, and after about...oh...ten years, I was taken from her and placed into a foster home with some very good people.

"Their names were Clark and Melanie Spielman, and they were good, Christian folk. They raised me as best as they could for seven years, until I was seventeen. Around that time I was going through some changes, and made some...bad decisions." He laughed at this point. "Like this." He pulled his sleeve up a bit more to reveal a tattoo around his upper arm, an inch above the elbow.  
It was a rather intricate celtic design that ran around his arm as a band, in black and blue and red.

"They didn't like it very much," Sora mused as Riku took a look. Roxas had seen it a few times but hadn't ever realized there was a story behind it. "I was grounded for a month and wasn't allowed to wear short sleeves outside anymore.

"Then this one time I went to a party...and really messed up. After my parents found out, they kicked me out of the house and I started living on my own, dropped out, worked a full-time job. I was lucky though; I had a friend that stayed in school and helped me get my GED after when I could. He's the reason I got into the military.

"So here I am," he said, gesturing broadly. "Fed, bedded, and watered three times daily with a decent salary. It's a good job." Riku and Roxas looked curious.

"What'd you do?" Riku asked. Sora shrugged.

"I don't feel like talking about it," he said casually. "C'mon, let's get out of here. We've got a full day ahead of us!" He shouldered his bag and dug out his wallet to pay. Roxas shrugged, used to Sora avoiding that particular topic, and did the same.

Riku studied him as he followed suit, curiosity piqued. So Sora was hiding something, hm? Maybe that's why he'd flipped on him last night. He resolved to find out more about the brunette as he laid his money on the table with tip and they all walked away.

* * *

A/N: So this is another weekend day, as there are two of them. In actuality, most soldiers will drink Fridays and Saturdays, but I don't think I'm going to make them. It's a bit too much drunken drama for one week, hm?

There really is a Zulu's Grill in San Antonio on the Riverwalk. In fact, most of the places I talk about in this story are real. Zulu's has this really good breakfast buffet that rocks my socks off, and it's in this gorgeous spot. Lovely place.

As I always say...remember to support your troops! They fight in bad conditions, against worse odds to make sure the worst thing doesn't happen to their loved ones back home.

Peace-kettish.


	7. Chapter 7

**I Am an American Soldier**

Summary: I am an American Soldier, Sora recited with the rest of his platoon with pride. And itjust so happens that I'm gay. Rated M for adult themes. Yaoi.

Disclaimer: I in now way own anyone in this story other than any original characters which may appear.

* * *

Sora yawned awake early Monday morning, glad to be rid of the weekend and its confusion. His jaw still ached where Riku had defended himself, but other than that, Sora felt no worse for the wear. He stretched, and trotted dutifully towards the latrines to get ready for the work day ahead.

It was much later-after PT and breakfast and all the useless morning formations that told the sergeants three times in a two hour period that everyone was present-that Sora was finally sitting in his classroom, primed and eager for the day's lessons. This week was supposed to actually be INTERESTING, and FUN! What a change. He half-whistled quietly to himself so as to avoid the wrath of his teachers or fellow soldiers and twiddled his thumbs.

Much to his dismay, his teachers proceeded to drone on (AGAIN) about how blood loss wasn't a problem that was very well understood by most civilians or non-medical workers; the problem wasn't that there wasn't blood, it was that there wasn't anything to keep the veins and arteries inflated and the heart and blah blah blah...Sora sighed, looking out the large glass windows wistfully. It was so very nice outside today, and all he wanted was to...

"Let's go outside," Sgt. Moor, one of the instructors, suggested. "We've got some bandages for you guys to practice with, and we're going to show you how to do it right." He emphasized the last word in the sentence darkly, like he had seen so many people do it wrong, and shook his head, suddenly grumpy. "Get your butts outside. Make sure the chairs are pushed in. You can leave your packs here." Everyone filed out with obvious glee.

As soon as they got to the open baseball field beside the building, Sora stretched his arms out and gulped in the cool fresh air.

"Man, it's nice to be outside," he told Roxas. Roxas smiled and nodded, agreeing, as they split off into a pair to watch the lesson and practice. Sora watched raptly, absorbing the information as it was given to him, and going along with the lesson as the sergeant demonstrated how to properly cut off blood flow to an injury in the armpit area, the arm, the leg, the neck...

Soon the instruction was done and the soldiers were set to practicing their tourniqueting abilities on each other. Sora quickly and easily managed to bandage the different areas on Roxas-so well, in fact, that Roxas complained that his fingers or toes were going blue. Laughing, Sora unwrapped him, and they switched off.

"That's not the way I showed you," the sergeant's growling voice could be heard off to the right. "Do it right." Sora swivelled his head around to see who was getting chewed out, to see Kairi and Namine watching Sgt. Moor show them again. "This way. Do it again." Kairi clumsily started to wrap an imagined puncture to the armpit, forgetting the vital step of shoving a rolled bandage in the 'wound'.

"That's NOT THE WAY TO DO IT!" Sgt. Moor shouted at her, suddenly losing patience. Sora started; Sgt Moor was usually grumpy, but a good NCO. To hear him yelling was quite different. "Do you want your patient to fucking DIE, Panettiere? Do you even want to be a fucking medic? What are you doing here?" The affront of his questioning shocked the platoon, and very nearly was bringing Kairi to tears. Sgt Mor looked down at her with disgust.

"Get out of here," he spat at her. She got to her feet mechanically quick, and started off. Namine gave Sgt Moor a startled look and then followed her, keeping with the requirement that no soldier in training be without a 'battle buddy' at all times. The sergeant stood there for a second, glaring at the two females before he became aware that the attention of the entire platoon was on him and his erratic behavior. He turned his glower to the rest of them.

"Get back to work," he growled. Eyes were averted automatically, their owners unwilling to become the next victim of the sergeants suddenly unpredictable behavior. Sora was still in shock from the NCO's outburst, but like the others, looked away. Only Roxas could not turn his gaze; he stared over at the NCO, who stared right back.

Long moments passed. Sora watched Roxas' sky blue eyes burn from the corner of his eye, and could only imagine Sgt Moor's brown eyes staring back. The tension ran thicker than anything Sora had experienced in the military before; usually, might equalled right in this world. Roxas was bucking that system by not backing down. Sora began slowly unwrapping the gauze on his arm, expecting them both to be dropped momentarily.

And then the impossible happened. Sora barely saw it, just a periphreal movement. Sgt. Moor turned his gaze away first with an odd air, one that the soldiers were unused to seeing from him. Sora pondered it as Roxas watched him go and then thoughtfully started rewrapping Sora's arm.

Two days later, Sgt Moor was replaced, and it wasn't until the rumors began about the reason behind his replacement that Sora realized what the emotion he'd seen in Sgt Moor was that day. In the NCOs eyes had been a mixture of fear and shame.

Roxas sat back in class the third day after the incident with Sgt Moor. Rumor was that he'd had some bad experiences his last time over in Iraq and suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome; something about a comrade dying due to the inefficiency of a lower-level medic. That made some sense, Roxas mulled thoughtfully, but didn't excuse his behavior. Kairi and Namine had gone back to the company area to report to the captain that they'd been kicked out, and Cpt. Strife had been livid in that cold, determined way of his.

Roxas hadn't received any kind of punishment whatsoever, except a small chat with DS Cohen about the duties and limitations of his role as PG. DS Cohen would've been perfectly in his rights to take Roxas out of that role in response to the spirit of subordination that he had exhibited that day, but hadn't. And Roxas understood why: it was the role of the soldier who was in control of other soldiers to also protect and take care of said soldiers. NCOs and COs both had a duty and responsibility to their underlings, in a give-and-take relationship unlike any other in human psychology. It was a great and wonderous thing, Roxas mused.

His ponderings were interrupted by the opening of the door to the classroom and the click-click-click of a nervous habit: the brand new, red-headed staff sergeant apparently liked lighters. He flipped the silver thing open and snapped it shut again rhythmically as he meandered to the front of the class.

"My name is Staff Sergeant Axel Feuerrot," he said, with a slight but present German accent. "I've been in two OIF campaigns, and just recently spent a few years in Germany. I understand you guys left off at bandaging?" There was a distant (to Roxas' ears) sound of affirmation, and the lesson began without a fuss.

From one sergeant to the other, he thought in a daze. Not a mention of why.

We're completely replacable, he realized, and shuddered.

* * *

AN: Feuerrot, German for 'blazing red', seemed appropriate for Axel's last name. :3 I also figured I'd make him a veteran, and unfortunately, the facial markings are gone. D: But that's because the military doesn't allow facial tattoos. Oh well. 

Roxas is a little shaken up by the whole thing. It's no wonder. For anyone (hopefully all of you) who hasn't seen someone in a war snap like that, it's an experience that leaves a lasting impression. I had a sergeant snap (less explosively than this) during the exact lesson described here, in much the same manner. The only difference was that the privates in question were being little shits and not paying attention, and really weren't doing anything useful at all.

So here's Axel:D For those of you who've been bugging me about him. coughAccousticalTrancecough

As always-support our troops!


	8. Chapter 8

**I Am an American Soldier**

Summary: I am an American Soldier, Sora recited with the rest of his platoon with pride. To himself, he added, And I also happen to be gay. Rated M for adult themes. Yaoi.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts II, Final Fantasy, or the US Army. I own only the concept of the storyline and any original or incidental characters described herein.

* * *

Roxas moved through the next two days slowly, but so quickly that everything blurred. He called out names for roll mechanically, tonelessly; his body felt numb. The only time he felt something was during PT...and then, he pushed himself harder than he ever had-harder than when he was going through Basic, harder than when he was on the sports teams at school. If he pushed hard enough, he knew...he could stop thinking about it. 

Sergeant Moor was not a bad man. He knew that. And it scared him absolutely shitless that he could be that way, one day. Roxas knew with a deep certainty that if he was deployed (ha, IF, who wasn't these days?) he would bend. SOmething inside him would twist, and buckle, and maybe even...maybe even...

He gave himself a mental shake every time his thinking got that far, and switched lanes. He would not let himself think like that; that was a coward's way of thinking, and he-he was no coward. His parent's hadn't raised him to be a coward. He had faith in God, too-he knew that with his faith in Christ, he shouldn't be afraid of death. Of dying. Of being bent by forces and pressures he couldn't control anymore than he could effect...

Roxas shuddered, breath coming hard after the morning's exercise was complete. Windsprints, meant to help his increase endurance in long runs (and, more ostensibly, the PT test). Sweat had soaked his t-shirt clean through at his neck, his back, his armpits, and around his waist where their uniform's shorts' elastic kept his shirt against his skin. His face was flushed, his lungs ached from the cool air of morning in September, and he was tired.

A week after Sgt. Moor's breakdown, Roxas was almost ready to have on himself. Sgt. Moor's breakdown had shown him his own weakness, his own frailty. And he was suddenly unsure he could trust himself with his own safety, much less with anyone else's.

He continued to try slowing his breathing, and headed towards the barracks with legs that felt like a bastard child of jelly and lead.

Sora finished his last lap, taking the track instead of cutting across, and watched Roxas retreat wobbily to the stairs to head up to take his shower. His usually cheerful face pulled into a frown of concern-something that had happened more often than it hadn't in the last week. Sora sighed, moving back down to a walk slowly in order to avoid too quick a cool-down.

"Something on your mind, Sora?" a deeper voice came from behind him. He turned to see Riku come jogging up lazily, more like a meandering half-ass hurry than anything purposeful. Sora felt a wash of depression as he thought about his best friend.

"Yeah," he said softly, so that Roxas wouldn't hear them from up ahead. "Roxas has been really down lately. I think that thing with Moor messed him up more than I thought." Riku frowned, glancing forward towards Roxas pensively.

"Maybe," Riku said after long moments in which they reached the stairs at the bottom of the CTA and began their way towards the doors to their bay. "But honestly, he's going to have to get over it eventually. He's in the fucking Army, man. There's going to be shit like that." Sora frowned again.

"Maybe," he said, and they split up to go to their respective lockers to clean up for class and the rest of the day. Riku watched him for a moment, but kept his thoughts to himself. Riku knew what he'd been signing up for when he enlisted-his original MOS had been infantry, after all. He had joined knowing he'd be sent to the Middle East, and that he might end up like Sgt. Moor.

He knew that, and accepted it. Apparently, it hadn't occured yet to Sora, but Roxas...Roxas was dealing with that now, Riku understood.

Riku shrugged mentally to himself. Roxas really would sink or swim; either way, Riku knew his job, and his place, and knew Roxas' job, and Roxas' place. He would follow the man either way, because he knew that he-he, Riku, the soldier, and now, the medic-would be taken care of.

Days passed without comment or affliction. The company was run pretty smoothly-Cpt. Strife was a combat veteran several times over, three campaigns in fact, and knew how to handle problems with his soldiers. DS Cohen had also been over a couple of times, Sora knew, but he had much less information on the drill sergeant than he knew there was. All that he was sure of was that DS Cohen was a drill sergeant, Cpt. Strife was his captain, and for whatever reason, it really ruffled Cohen's feathers.

Another week went as quickly as they always did, and with the same attention to detail that filled each day with necessary rituals-you got up the same time every day, you wore the same clothes, you continued to learn. There was almost always PT, there was almost always breakfast, there was almost always jackasses that got the company or platoon dropped and doing push-ups or flutter kicks.

And yet, Sora found himself enjoying his life. He knew he was doing something important-something that would effect other people's lives, possibly (hopefully) even save them. He was content with that, and happy to be alive.

But Roxas continued to be depressed; down in the dumps. He'd lost that spark that had made him such a joy and comfort to be around. Sora mourned it, mourned the times they'd had and the times they should be having. But he knew his friend, and knew that it was a necessary time. Everyone had times while they were in training where they turned inward, examinging what it was that made them enlist in the first place, and what they hoped to do through it. In essence, the soldier must weigh what he hopes to gain and do in service to his country against the possible consequences: emotional scarring, physical injury and scarring, loss of life, limb, eyesight. As a medic, the consequences were thrown into even harsher relief; you were learning daily about everything that could happen to you, about everything you might have to go through-much less see and feel or touch.

You learned about how to correct so many things, Sora reflected. Because we, these small islands of humanity in a sea of air and sand, could break in so many different ways...commonly seen injuries in deployments were said to be caused mostly by the explosions of IEDs and suicide bombers. Loss of limb followed by extreme bleed-out was the number one cause of death on the battlefield, mostly because it is rather difficult to secure a proper tourniquet on someone in the heat of battle-and because there aren't enough medics to go with every team that goes out on a mission. The next one up was probably collapsed lung, caused (again) mostly by shrapnel. That was much easier to fix, but less obvious, especially if the victim was already unconscious...it required only a needle chest decompression, illegal to EMT workers under the paramedic but expected of any medic that came out of US training grounds. Simple. Slip a three and a quarter inch long needle, 14 gauge, just over the fourth rib in the third intercostal space...

"Pvt Spielman," an amused voice interrupted his thoughts. "May I ask why you are staring at the electrical socket so intently?" Sgt. Feuerrot asked, leaning over so that his (decidedly NOT regulation!) red hair strayed into Sora's face. Sora blinked, realizing that the sergeant was all but in his face, and felt his comfort zone being violated.

Like most people in the service though, he'd had a sergeant or two in his face during training, and showed admirable restraint in not leaning back as he answered.

"I was thinking about needle-chest decompression, sergeant," he answered half-truthfully. The redhead eyed him suspiciously.

"What about it?" he asked. Sora blinked.

"Just that...it's a 14 gauge, 3.25 inches long, and that it goes in the third intercostal space," he replied, deadpan. The sergeant's face acquired a new expression: he grinned, almost proudly.

"Good job on remembering the details," he said, and Sora's face was blank. The sergeant kept on grinning. "Not everyone remembers the 3.25 inches part. That's important, actually, since a lot of your guys are going to be pretty big." Sora chuckled, as did the rest of the class, and the sergeant resumed his lecture and presentation where he'd left off. Sora shook his head, still smiling, and then caught sight of Roxas' face.

It was downcast; apparently, he'd forgotten. Sora poked him with his pen in what he hoped was a comforting fashion.

Roxas almost growled, but kept his vocals to himself, choosing instead to glare at Sora. Sora was startled; there was genuine anger there, and he wasn't sure if it was directed at him or if Roxas was angry with himself.

He chose to be silent, going back to taking notes as well as he could, and wondered what they should do this weekend. Glancing back at Roxas' suddenly moody face out of the corner of his eye, Sora guessed it would probably involve...alcohol.

* * *

BEWARE: SUPER LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE. 

A/N: OK, so not much happening this chapter. Kinda setting up some more. Sora's right; every soldier goes through this sort of instrospection at some time or another-some do it loudly, others are more subtle, still others never get out of it. It can be a thing to make a beforehand solid soldier become a shitty one, or vice versa; it is a time of contemplation, and sometimes what's going on at the time effects the outcome.

I went through this too. Right after I was injured, it seemed like life was really and truly made up of The Suck. I couldn't run, I had trouble walking even, and the life of an injured soldier in a training company is not a kind one. Especially not if it's a chronic injury or one that wasn't incurred suddenly or explicably. I was ostracized by the more 'mission-oriented'  
soldiers-in-training, and even more so by the drill sergeants themselves. My own drill made me feel like I was simply born weak; as though some people's bodies aren't made for the strain of the military, and it was just my luck that I was one of them. Honestly, some of the people while I was in made me think for a long time that I was worthless as a soldier.

I realize now-now, too late-that I am not, was not, could never have been worthless. At worst case scenario, I could've been an instructor or an office assistant somewhere where the situation didn't require me to be in top physical form.

And God damn it all, I was a good medic. I knew how to do things well. Sure, everyone knew how to tie a tourniquet-but when it came down to actual simulations (nothing was harmed in the training I went through, we had dummies that simulated the injuries) I could stop the bleeding.  
I was the one who remembered to go ahead and get a total body count. I retained a lot more than some of those other guys did, and when I wasn't injured, I could lift and carry more than someone my size was expected to.

sigh Sorry guys, emo rant. But it's true. The military hasn't been paying as much attention to how their injured soldiers are treated, and now it's catching up with them-stuff like at the base in San Antonio (which is currently under investigation), the soldiers were staying in substandard housing. Hell, the medical hold company I was eventually placed in still had lead paint on the walls-and they had privates scraping it off, no gloves, no masks, nothing. I wish I had been able to stay in so that I maybe, eventually, I could have effected the way that injured soldiers are treated.

But, no one soldier can change the system. That's part pro and part con. I couldn't force service wide change. But I could've treated my patients how they should be treated: with respect, with dignity, and seeing them as the soldiers they are, not as simply a burden to be borne.

Peace out y'all, it's late! Support our soldiers as always-flawed as the system may be, the common soldier has no choice but to follow orders he's given. Peace-kettish.


	9. Chapter 9

I Am an American Soldier

Summary: I am an American Soldier, Sora recited with the rest of his platoon with pride. To himself, he added, And I also happen to be gay. Rated M for adult themes. Yaoi.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts II, Finaly Fantasy, or the US Army. I own only the concept of the storyline and any original or incidental characters described herein.

Another week went by, and Sora finally had a totally free weekend. Roxas didn't, unfortunately-  
DS Cohen had asked him to stay over on Friday, to help handle some more paperwork, and Roxas had opted to just sleep in the barracks afterwards. So Sora and Riku had the rest of the afternoon and evening to kill before their 'posse' was complete.

"Man," Sora said moodily, "there just isn't that much to do early on in the day around here." Riku raised an eyebrow at the comment in slight confusion; there was an entire Riverwalk! And he coudn't just walk it and be happy?

Apparently not. Sora continued to grumble. Riku eyed him surreptiously as the man groaned and grumped; Sora was wearing a very nice outfit today (not that Riku thought he knew it). A simple button-up blue shirt left tucked out, with some just-right-fitting khakis, and a pair of dark leather sandals. It was a decidedly preppy look, Riku decided, but suited him well-especially in the somewhat dark mood he was in at the moment.

All in all, it was slightly attractive. Riku gave a gruff cough in an attempt to change the train of his own thoughts.

"What?" Sora asked, blinking. "You ok, man?" Riku nodded with an grunt.

"Let's go see a movie," Riku said. Sora cocked his head to the side a little, pondering.

"What's out?"

"I dunno," Riku replied. He wandered closer to one of the tables on the side of the Riverwalk, and casually picked up the newspaper resting there. "Damn, this one doesn't have the movie section. Guess we'll just see when we get there. You wanna walk over to the one at Rivercenter?"

"Hells yeah," Sora snorted. "We really do pay too much for cabs in this town." Riku chuckled,  
feeling amicable today. Comfortable clothing (a soft thin black sleeveless shirt, a pair of loose blue jeans, and some Converse), beautiful weather, and actually having a friend for the first time in a long time was affecting his mood in a very positive way. The two walked on in silence until they reached the mall, and entered through the food court.

The food court always lifted Sora's spirits a little; it had a lot of windows, and the afternoon sunshine shone through, practically tasting of fall. Sora let a smile draw across his face, secretive, as he thought about the man walking beside him.

He wouldn't let Riku see it, but today had brightened his hopes for a relationship between the two of them-or at the very, bare minimum, a fuck buddy, he thought ruefully. But on the whole he'd much prefer a boyfriend.

But they were still in town, at the mall that a lot of military folk hung out at. Now was not yet the time to make a move.

When they got to the theatre, there were a couple of new movies out.

"Now comes the question," Sora muttered. "Horror, action, or 'other'?" Riku let out a small laugh.

"Other?" he asked in amusement.

"Other," Sora confirmed. "Chick flicks, animated cartoons, and documentaries all fall into the 'other' category." Riku continued to smirk, approached the ticket booth, and ordered two passes to the current action flick.

"Hey, " Sora protested. "What if I wanted to see the-the chicken flick?" He struggled to keep his face straight as he joked. Riku's laugh growled low in his throat, a pleasant sound to Sora's ears.

"I'm paying for it anyway," he replied. Sora stared at the silver haired man a moment before averting his gaze almost painfully. He was rather...enticing, at moments like that...

"Whatever," Sora chirped, forcing cheerfulness back into his voice. It took a bit of effort...he always sounded deeper when the beginnings of arousal threaded through him like this. But he could and would ignore it. There was too much at stake, around here: friends, a job, no-a career.

A way of life, even. A sigh lost itself in Sora's chest, inaudible, as they headed to the concessions counter for some snacks.

The movie itself was unremarkable, really-loud, fiery explosions, sleek black cars, and tight streamlined leather on a lasvicious young woman. Riku felt himself observing the woman; she had curves, which were undoubtedly enticing to most men. For him, there was only an artistic appreciation of the woman's body...the same appreciation a photographer would have for a rose hip, or a droplet of water on a leaf, or maybe even the rounded alphabets of a neon sign. The simple recognition of the cultural standard of beauty was ingrained in him as it was in every man, woman, and child; he simply lacked the desire to take her.

An odd experience, he mused. Entirely unlike me, really. His eyes slipped back around to Sora again, with the intention of reducing him to the same cultural equation. He realised with a sinking feeling that his mind and body simply refused to cooperate with him on that account.

I really am gay, he thought with an inward sigh. But damn, if his slight curves aren't more inviting than the woman actor's exagerated ones were...

"Let's go find a place to crash," Sora said out of the blue. Riku's pulse began to pound, and his mind kicked into overdrive. Oh, that had been an unfortunate coincidence...for him to be thinking what he'd been thinking and then for Sora to have said that...wow. Riku's dick decided to take the opportunity to make itself known. He could practically feel the damn thing begging for attention...dammit.

Why. Now.

Fuuuuuuuck.

Riku found himself suddenly scheming, his mind working a million miles an hour, and had to stop himself. He couldn't fucking...seduce...his damn teammate. That's what got him kicked out of the infantry in the first place! Except, he thought darkly, that other guy had swore to him that he was interested, that he had done that before, that he'd been hiding too.

Turns out, he thought bitterly, that his buddy had been hiding in the closet in the damn hotel room with a camera. He had managed to take a rather...how to say it?...unflattering...picture of the two of them. It had looked very much like he had been raping the other man.

LTC Mouse was an oddly understanding man, for the military, Riku reflected. He had been put on probation from the other man for...well, forever...and had been put into a different MOS. He had been spared dishonorable discharge because of the other man's reputation for being a homophobe, and because the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy had recently expired.

Riku sighed, grumbling. Now he was too chicken shit to try anything with anyone...probably ever again. At the least while he was in the military.

Well, at least he could pacify his loneliness. Friendship was also necessary.

Riku sighed again. This was going to be a long training cycle.

A/N: Well, there's another short chappie! School's being a bitch, so it'll be a while before I can get another chapter out. Peace, and as always, support our troops! 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING. Except my dog. And my stuff. And I'm fostering this lovely pit mix who's a sweetie. But she's not mine. Yet. Might adopt her eventually if my husband likes her. He'll be back on R&R soon, yay! cheers But no, seriously, I don't own the characters, just the plot itself. I make no monies from this (or much of anything, truth be told).

* * *

Sora skipped with a vengeance, fairly pouncing on the pavement in this forced cheerfulness. It was an interesting sight, to be sure...the lanky soldier boy, carefree at first glance and seething at the second. How dare he ignore me? After I embarassed myself trying to catch his attention...and oh, how it had smarted when he found it he'd done almost the opposite! To be taunted like that by the man whose attention he was trying to gain was enough to reduce his confidence to an ant-like amount.

But not his determination, he though with a small, wry grin. The expression wriggled and wormed its way out of Sora's face with a life of its own, accompanied by mindless voices; something told him to work, to run, to sprint, to do SOMETHING. Sora worried for a moment that he might lose his mind, trying to pull his lips back together, and was rather surprised when he didn't. He woofed out a sigh with the next bounding-stomping step, trying to create balance.

No such luck right now, he thought grimly, and as he realized the truth the murmuring in his head backed down to the smallest of whimpers in a back unlit corner of his mind. Fucking hormones, he thought, almost growling. I do not need this right now.

Sora was so angry he was horny. Or maybe it was the other way around. But trying to entice Riku had failed, as had being 'normal,' and so he was left with a single conclusion: it wasn't going to happen. And a very certain piece of his anatomy was very angry about that. His brain.

He was insulted that Riku seemed to be simply playing with him, seemed to take his advances as an amusement, a pleasant but unserious diversion to more important matters. Sora's grin twisted itself into an almost-snarl, and he had to skip a little faster to get ahead of his silver friend far enough to hide the wildness in his face.

He felt like a wild thing, a swell of energy in his breast, and he wanted to do nothing but run.  
But to run from Riku right now would be retreat, and if Sora knew anything, it was how to master himself. He pushed the anger into the back of his mind with difficulty, a mental heave-ho that almost undid him, and turned to Riku with a smile.

"Let's go find a place to crash," he practically sang. If Riku wasn't going to have anything to do with him, he might as well get a quiet bathroom to relieve some of his stress in. And then, he thought, a run: a wild, dashing, all-out sprint, something to expend some of the energy that was still running circles in his head. Yes, he decided. A run. A run and a place to touch himself in shame and relative peace.

Riku stopped in his tracks at Sora's suggestion, and Sora skipped an extra step before halting and turning on a toe to stop him, delicately, putting strength into the gesture and constraining himself. It came out like a dancer's light step, and he balanced on the balls of his feet, cocking his head to the side to regard Riku with a guarded stare. Riku was looking at him with an intent expression, and Sora would've thought that his eyes held heat if that wasn't exactly what he wished were there.

"Um-" Riku stammered but caught himself with a small effort, "-yeah, that's cool. Need anything"  
By that, Sora knew, he meant, 'do you want anything to drink?' The idea of drinking himself into oblivion appealed to Sora on one level, but he knew better than to let himself get that wasted when he was feeling this...desperate. He shook his head.

"No, thank you," he murmured. At least Riku cared enough to ask, to try and act normally around him even if Sora'd been throwing off major gay-vibes. There was hope for a friendship still then.  
Sora knew that was all he could ask at the moment. "I'm just going to chill."

With that, some of the energy that had been inundating poor Sora's mind drained off; it wasn't completely helpless. There was very little hope, but it existed. Sora waited for Riku to start walking again before he followed suit. This time it was world-heavy steps that tapped out into the darkness of the Riverwalk. Not very abnormal, except that he walked a little more slowly, in much more control now than he had been minutes ago. More expressive, this walk was.

Riku eyed his companion warily, noting the difference. The artistic side of him saw that Sora was ignoring him, ignoring the world, and that he'd been doing that since they left the theatre.  
But why? Riku had no idea what was going on. All he knew was that this little minx of a man had a very smooth voice when he was angry, controlled but with an inflection that actually made him shiver. Him! Riku! Shiver! Riku didn't shiver over anyone, it was a general rule of nature! He made other people shiver. He was the one that sent seductive glances and intiated small touches,  
he was the one that let the little slip of skin show at the exact right time. He was the one that made the moves.

And here Sora was, executing said moves with precision, and something darker. Something more.  
he didn't know. Riku felt the skin on his arms crawl and rubbed them briskly, making as if it were mere cold that bumped them. And then he got annoyed.

"A place to stay, then," he hummed with an absent note. "Well, let's see what we can find, hm"  
He placed his steps a little more precisely, caught up with and moved in front of the other man,  
and added a little bit of swagger to his hips that had caught many a man-and woman's-stare. It was slight, and subtle, and added something that most people couldn't quite put their finger on until they'd seen it in action more.

Riku heard a snarl erupt from behind him and started; what the fuck...? Sora pushed past him roughly with his shoulder, too roughly. He was really and truly angry, Riku realized, not just a little pissed off. Before he could think about it though he had pushed back in front of Sora in what had apparently become some sort of battle for dominance.

Sora's eyes flashed ice-blue in the lamplight that caught them at an angle, and Riku could see a muscle in his jaw clench. A warning sign: he recognized it from the other night when he'd clocked him. Riku was going to have to be very, very careful. He was still a little sore from last weekend. He moved out of Sora's reach but more to the front of him, staring him in the eyes,  
daring him to do something about it.

Riku felt more than heard Sora's chest rumble in a growl that turned into a grin on his face: a wicked, angry snarl of a grin, but a grin. It was the leer of a man who knew without a doubt that he would win. Challenging. Riku's ire rose in him as quickly as it rose on Sora's face, matched the slighter slimmer man's anger.

"Not a chance, Aritake," he ground out deep in his throat. "Not a fucking chance." The threat hung between them, and Riku began to hear his blood pounding in his ears.

"There's always a chance," Riku said in reply with a grin, blowing a puff of air towards Sora,  
and then the other man was gone. Sora had taken off with a slip of wind and was sprinting, full out pushing himself as far as he could go, and all Riku could do was gape.

"Where do you think you're going?" he shouted after the flash of brown hair that was cutting thtough San Antonio crowds with the all the ease of a hot knife through butter. Sora stopped as abruptly as he'd begun, turning on point again as he had before, a deliberately precise motion that struck Riku as rather taunting.

"I don't know," he said, and Riku was hard-pressed to read the man's lips through the other people. Sora's lips lifted in a small, hard cut of a smile. "But I'll be there first."

Leaving Riku staring, Sora whirled again to lope down the Riverwalk, disappearing as quickly as he'd come into Riku's life.

Roxas stumbled out of the shower, cursing as he nearly fell on his face after losing his footing due to a wet patch of tile he'd thought already dry. The towel slipped, and he grabbed after it in an attempt to save his towel the nastiness of the barracks bathroom floor. He made it just a little too late, and held it up to gaze with not a little moroseness at the icky spot on the corner of his towel.

He sighed, used the clean part of dry what needed drying and dressed. The man was a master of multitasking-or so you would assume by how he brushed his teeth, texted Sora, and got dressed all at the same time. It was ridiculously quick before he was ambling out of the latrine with his towel held at this side in mild mindless disgust and threw it into his dirty laundry bag. His locker was fairly organized, almost Spartan in its simplicity: there were his uniforms, and there were his shoes, and hanging on a hanger there was his good shirt. He shrugged it on over his shoulders-smaller than many men, but in proportion, beautiful. The buttons came up the front with ease on a blue and white checkered shirt. Roxas pushed the sleeves of his shirt up, rolled them carefully, exactingly, and then checked his hair in the mirror.

Scruffy, he thought grumpily, as always. Sticking up in fucking retarded places. Well, at least it could pass as sort of punk. Roxas sighed. Maybe he should buzz it down all the way, instead of letting it grow on top like some of the other guys did.

But a shaved bald head looked stupid. He went back to ruffling through his drawer with an air of irritation. All of this fussing over his appearance was nothing more than a ruse, a way to keep himself out of trouble and off the streets. He would spend a long time getting ready, go out and eat with Sora or by himself, and then come back and do paperwork or clean his gear or anything to keep himself busy. Roxas growled an agitated sigh: DS Cohen had taken his overnights this weekend for a snappish response to a mostly-innocent question. That meant he was going to be doing busywork to keep himself occupied all evening, instead of his regular routine of going out,  
drinking his ass off, and getting as wasted as he could in order to forget.

Forget what? he snapped at himself.

Your...self, a quiet voice answered. You do it to forget yourself.

Roxas froze in front of the mirror, and shook his head rapidly.

"No I don't," he said out loud to break the spell of his thoughts. It was no use denying these things, but that didn't mean he had to think about it. He busied himself with his hair once again, trying to flatten out a piece of it, and then giving up with a puff of breath to right it and stomped out of the barracks.

Roxas had tried, again, to reach his friend on the phone. Sora didn't answer, and Roxas had a sneaking suspicion that he wouldn't. He was either pissed off because Riku wasn't paying attention to him, or...Riku was paying attention to him. Roxas wasn't sure which was preferable.

He sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets before taking one and running it through is hair. An idea crossed his mind and he turned it over idly before deciding it wasn't too bad: there was a bar on-post he could hop over to, drink himself (almost) silly, and then go pass out in the barracks. He scuffed his shoes on the pavement occasionally as he kicked leaves towards the building, feeling lonely and bored.

The music emanating from the place proclaimed it quite definitely a bar: loud, drenched in smoke,  
and mostly country. He sighed and bellied up to get himself started.

Roxas was four shots in when a chair was dragged up to the bar next to him and a body smacked into the chair. Roxas turned eyes that were starting to water just a little over to the man that had claimed his left side: red hair, green eyes...Roxas' eyes flew wide open.

"Ser-ser-sergeant Feuerrot??" he sputtered helplessly, the sergeant having his arm pinned against the older man's side. "What're-what're you doing here?" His voice slid up a half pitch at the feeling of the man's touch against the underside of his upper arm; he had a nice little sensitive spot right there...

"I'm going to have a drink," the sergeant said with an amused look on his face. "Why? And why exactly are you here?" A smirk pulled at the NCO's face, threatening to overwhelm it.

"I, ah, got my weekend privileges taken away," Roxas muttered, letting his arm go limp, seeing as how he didn't want to piss off ANOTHER man with more rank than him. The red-headed sergeant grinned wider, taking his arm and looping it around his own, and ordered up a double shot of Jack.

"And what, pray tell, did you do to deserve that?" he asked loftily. "You, Mr Goody-Two-Shoes?" Roxas glowered.

"I answered a question an NCO asked that was none of his business," he grated. The sergeant looked a bit startled at the tone of voice, and after an intense moment of regard, threw his head back into a ripping laugh.

"You're alright, blondie," he cackled, removing his arm and using it to smack the poor younger soldier on his back with more enthusiasm than was required. "You're alright. Tell you what. I'll make a call to your sergeant, and escort you anywhere you need to go off-post." He grinned.  
"Just because you've got balls, and that, I can admire."

Roxas was truly startled; in all honesty, he'd expected to get dropped. But the sergeant had always startled him, and it seemed he would continue to do so. He chopped his head swiftly, ready to be off post and out in a world that didn't expect him to be civil, and snatched a twenty out of his pocket to slap on the bar. He stopped at the door to regard Sgt Feuerrot with an expectant gaze.

"Are you coming?" Roxas asked coldly, ready to leave whether the sergeant came or not. At this point, with a few drinks in him, all he cared about was making the ache in his chest go away (or hell, even just loosen) for just a little while. And that meant getting his hands on some alcohol and far enough away from post to enjoy it. The sergeant looked startled again, and then sauntered over to the door to sweep it open and hold it.

Roxas' eyes tightened, his muscles tightened, his entire body went still for a moment as he dropped his jaw down just a little to regard the sergeant.

"I am no female," he snapped. "Do not hold a door for me, ser'eant."

"And I am no sergeant, off-post," the red head answered just as sharply. "Do not call me a sergeant...or expect to be treated like a troop."

Roxas wished that he hadn't said that. It sounded more like a threat than a promise. With an inward sigh and an outward glare, he stalked through the door and into the brightened night of San Antonio.

The sergeant walked after him with a happy hum and threw an arm over his shoulder flamboyantly.

"So, private," he asked, "what's your name, exactly? Mine's Axel." He grinned. "Got it memorized?"

* * *

A/N: Guuuuuuh.

Be happy I wrote this. Expect nothing and I'll see if I can ever get it done. No idea where it's going except that things are starting to wind up a little more, hm? Some of these guys got some serious tension. Yo. Check it.

Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.

And btw...there are a LOT of y'all out there that aren't reviewing! This story has 3,270 hits now, and 38 reviews. That means one review per every 86 views. C'mon, have a heart people! Let me know if you like it, or if you DON'T like it! Tell me what I can be doing better. Tell me what's best! Talk to me, peeps!

I'm done. Off to do an interview. :3 Wish me luck!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own a lick of it. Except the plot. And the occasional original character. :P Those're mine. But that's it. Woo!

Riku and Sora raced down the Riverwalk, feet pounding, heading towards the less inhabited portion of the river. Lights flashed by with nameless faces as they raced on, breath coming out hard and harsh, Sora in the lead and Riku hot on his trail.

Darkness lay beyond the last streetlamp, and only a few groups of people chatted and wandered idly on this side of the water. A few bars edged the popular part of the Riverwalk and the two men flashed past them in a moment.

Riku forced more and more power into his legs, and tried to lengthen his stride to overtake Sora.  
But Sora's lankiness was to his advantage here; he sprinted in a lupine lope, his strides taking in longer distance than Riku's could and therefor requiring less energy. Riku grit his teeth as he heard Sora laugh under his breath, and with a monumental effort he forced himself to run faster.

Three strides brought him into range to brush his fingertips against Sora's pumping arms. Four had him desperately grabbing for the smaller man's wrist. Five had him up close enough to grab his waist, and he launched into his sixth step, tackling Sora with enough "oomph" to bring them both down. They landed with a satisfyingly forceful crash and sprawled out on top of each other,  
stunned.

Sora was floored. He'd fucking tackled him! What had happened to the race? Why wouldn't Riku let him just run off? He struggled to get Riku's heavier body off of him, cursing and pulling his arms free enough to reach for the edge of the sidewalk.

"Sora, cut it out!" Riku managed as he wrestled with Sora to keep him down. "C'mon, man, just stop for a second!" Sora continued wiggling. Hormones and adrenaline were still running through both men like the blood in their veins, pumping directly into their brains and reinforcing each man's inherant natures. Sora continued trying to get away and Riku continued trying to keep him where he was. Naturally, combatitives ensued.

And just as naturally, Riku thought while cursing Sora out loud and himself in his head, it's sort of turning me on. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He attempted to extricate himself, but by that time Sora's sweater was somehow half-twisted off of his shoulder and around Riku's wrist and his shoe had managed to get caught in the rest of it and it was difficult to get himself disentangled without-

Sora stilled suddenly, and Riku froze. Both men assessed the situation: Riku's groin was pressed directly against Sora's ass by mere chance (though Riku suspected in that moment that God did exist and that He was laughing). Sora seemed to pause in his assessment to take a moment in his head, composing some sort of question, and Riku took the opportunity to cut him off at the pass.

Wrenching himself out of Sora's sweater (where the fuck had he gotten that thing anyway? It practically doubled as antipersonnel weaponry!) and scrambling to his feet, Riku turned his back to Sora and scuffed his shoe against the crumbling side of the Riverwalk.

Sora twisted to sit up, facing Riku, cautious hope in his face. Riku'd been aroused by something,  
that was certain. But was it him, or had their scuffle just sort of done it for him?

Sora needed to know. Neeeeeeded. But for the life of him, he couldn't figure out how to phrase the question. So he decided to try and say something, anything, to at least

"D'you...um..." Damn, this was turning out harder than he'd thought it would be! Oh, fuck it, he decided with an exasperated sigh. Sora stood up, brushed himself off a little to stall, and walked over to Riku.

Riku heard the footsteps behind him coming closer and desperately tried to remember a lot of unattractive things: the old lady next door to his apartment in New York...good...canned spinach ...good...ok...Sora...underneath him...with a very nice ass...whoa, whoa, whoa! Danger, danger!  
Riku shut his eyes tight as he could as he heard Sora's steps come around to his front and made a last-ditch effort to get rid of the rather obvious erection he'd been sporting.

There was a moment of silence, broken only by soft, far-away sounds of the streets above the bridge and the traffic of people further down the walk. Riku relaxed slowly, unwillingly, and finally opened his eyes.

Sora stood there in front of him, brown eyes soft and yet calculating: vulnerable. The young man let Riku lookat him for a few moments, both of their hearts pounding at the unknown of what was about to happen, and then Sora couldn't stand it anymore. He leaned forward, gently, and pressed his lips against Riku's.

Riku's eyes went wide as saucers. Sora was...kissing him? He closed his eyes again, savoring the feeling and what it meant. Sora's hands went to the back of his head and ran across the shaved scalp, and Riku shivered.

They were kissing, Riku realized again, and this time the thought came with a burst of inspiration.  
Wrapping his arms around Sora he pressed their bodies together, savoring the feeling of warmth against him and the light moan that escaped Sora. Sora countered suddenly with his tongue, running it against Riku's, and the duel began.

It was only minutes into their struggle for sexual dominance when they seemed to simultaneously realize where they were. The two stopped kissing and stood a moment in each other's embrace,  
breathing hard, before Riku shoved Sora away and backed off just enough that most people wouldn't think they'd just been kissing. Sora nodded, understanding in his features, and ran a hand through the longish hair on the top of his head.

"That-you didn't-I mean, that wasn't an accident?" Sora asked softly, wanting to be sure. Riku smiled, a crafty, seductive grin and shook his head: no.

"Nope," he said, "but we can't be doing that out in public." A shadow fell over his face, sky blue eyes darkening a hair with remembrance. Sora's face lit up in understanding.

"That's what happened to you in the infantry, isn't it?" he asked softly. Riku's brows pinched together a little in anguish, and he turned away a little.

"Yes," he said with an angry tone. Yes, it was. And it suddenly occured to him to be very wary of this man, this brown-haired blue-eyed man who was so seemingly innocent. What if this was all some elaborate design...? He regarded Sora silently for a moment out of the corner of his eye,  
and Sora suddenly bristled.

"Don't look at me like that," he snapped. "I'm not going to tell anyone, genius. How the hell d'ya think I got this far without being found out?" He glared at Riku, and Riku glared back.

Sora broke the silence with a sudden sigh and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, we aren't going to do any good sitting around out here." The recent sprinting was beginning to take its toll on both men as they stood, their bodies wearing down as the adrenaline left their systems. "Let's go crash somewhere and we can talk about it more later. Ok?"

Even if he was going to turn on him, Riku decided, guys share rooms all the time on the weekends.  
Sounds safe enough. But they were NOT going anywhere past where they'd just been, he told himself resolutely. Kissing, OK. It was hard to struggle in a kiss, and Riku wasn't going to force it.  
He nodded, agreeing warily.

"C'mon," Sora said softly. "There's a place near here." He nodded, face still dark, and followed the other soldier up out of the Riverwalk and onto the streets above. Riku'd find out soon enough if Sora was serious or not.

Roxas woke the next morning in a daze. There'd been heavy drinking, he remembered fuzzily as he sat up and scratched his head. And that sergeant-Axel, his name was-had 'escorted' him off-post,  
which explained his current residence in a hotel room bed. His eyes were still half-shut from a drunken sleep, and he was still buzzing.

"Drank a lot," he muttered drowsily. "Fuck it. Goin' back ta sleep." He flopped back down onto the bed with a thud, and stilled. The way the bed had bounced after he flopped down...oh, no. Oh no. He shut his eyes for a moment, praying. PLEASE no. Please!

Cautiously he opened his eyes and looked to his left.

Sure enough, there was the red headed sergeant. Naked. Roxas took in his current state of dress.  
Also naked. Next, he thought, the body. Sore ass. Definitely not tense in the nether regions. Relaxed. Tired hip flexors. iShit./i

"Man," he groaned. "No, no, no..." 

Axel stirred next to him, waking up with a sleep-drenched, "Wazzat?" Roxas glowered.

"You," he snarled, voice low and gravelly. Axel turned towards him, still half asleep, and gazed up at the angry face.

"What?" he asked, confusion in his green eyes. His red hair was mussed rather sexily, and Roxas couldn't deny the urge to kiss him, to touch him, to do SOMETHING to him...

"What happened?" he asked icily to cover the urge. Axel frowned.

"Um, duh," he said. Roxas groaned and drew his knees up to put his face in his hands.

"No," he whispered. "Please tell me I didn't. Please tell me I didn't." Axel's face grew from slightly agitated to concerned and confused; what was he talking about? Why was it so difficult for him to understand what had happened? Had Axel made a mistake, was he actually straight of bicurious or something? Fuck, he thought. Just, fuck.

"You did," he said harshly. "You and I fucked like bunnies, babe. Better get over it now." It hurt Axel too that Roxas was so hurt; it meant either he'd made a mistake, or this young man he'd liked so much was doing himself a world of hurt. Roxas lifted his head slightly and almost growled.

"I've been trying to be good," he said in a low voice. "Trying really damn hard to just be a normal, straight guy. And now I've gone and ruined it." The declaration ended on a miserable note,  
and Axel felt for the guy. Maybe if he had someone to help his thinking...

"Why?" he asked bluntly. Roxas exploded.

"Why? Why? Because this isn't fucking right, it isn't normal!" His voice practically boomed in the small room, and Axel winced. "It's not Christian, for Christ' sake! What's your problem, why? Fuck!" Axel glared back, angry now.

"So you're saying I'm wrong. I'm immoral. I'm a bad, bad man, and I should be put down," he said with ice biting in his voice. "Get over yourself! No one said that you can't be a fucking Christian and be gay at the same time. It doens't work like that. It isn't an either/or." Green eyes glowered beneath the mop of messy red hair. Roxas glared back, blonde hair shadowing his own blue eyes.

"It's wrong," he finally growled. "Tell me that it isn't wrong. Tell me that you've never felt a guilty day about it. Say it." Axel stared back before bluntly replying.

"I've never felt a day of guilt in my life about being homosexual," he said, all the strength of a military NCO in his voice, all the decorum and command. "And neither should you."

Roxas stared at the sergeant, the red-haired man before him, and Axel could see the weight of the years on him. He's known for years, Axel realized. He's known himself for all these years and never forgave himself. Roxas shook his head slowly, sadness in his eyes, and got out of bed, picking up his clothes as he went.

"I'm not you," he said softly, dressing as he spoke. "I'm not you, I'm not So-I'm not my friends.  
I can't just snap my fingers and not feel bad about it." His eyes remained troubled even as he stood and gave the man a wan grin. "And I'm not going to." Axel searched his face, wondering if he should worry about his job security-if Roxas felt like he'd taken advantage of him...

"And don't worry about it," Roxas finished softly. "This was my mistake, not yours. I'm not about to get you in trouble for it." Axel relaxed slowly, and nodded, agreeing. "I won't say anything if you won't." Axel nodded again.

Roxas picked up his things and left the room quietly, shutting the door behind him with a click.  
I'll be thinking about this for a long, long time, he thought with a sigh.

Axel sat in bed for a moment longer, and then got up to dress as well. He pulled his clothes on thoughtfully. The man he'd been with last night had been desperate, he recalled. Desperate and tired and so awake at the same time, like he knew if he gave it a second thought he'd stop and walk away.

"I should've spared him that," he mumbled, and kicked the chair angrily. "Fuck. Gone and screwed it up bad this time, didn't you? Fuck." The weakness in the other man's eyes...it hurt, he realized with a twisting in his chest.

"Fuck," Axel mumbled, sitting on the bed now. "Just had to go and fall in love with the homophobe, didn't you?" He sighed, looked around the room, and then restripped his clothes off and went back to bed.

A/N: Ah ha, plot! duh-duh-duuuuuun Indeed. I have written. Wowsers. I'll try and focus a bit more on Riku and Sora next time, but I feel like I've been favoring Roxas a bit the last few chapters. Just needed to. Roxas' character calls to me. :D

The interview went well! Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing. I appreciate it. I was informed that if I updated more often I might get more reviews, so, here ya go. Woo. :P

Support our troops! Woo yeah! My troop's comin' home the 20th of January! Yeah:D

AND, on a side note...lemon or no? I'm not quite sure what I want. Review and tell me what you want. I can write it with or without, and I don't mind which. Peace out homies! 


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: yadda yadda yadda. I refuse. :P No, seriously, I don't own KH or KH2. That's Square Enix and Squaresoft's (I think. Square Enix for sure.) 

A/N: Mixed results on the question from last chapter, so I think we'll take it slow and see how it goes. Deal? Good deal.

* * *

Riku and Sora arrived to the hotel in silence; Sora paid the cabbie and then tried his best to look casual while Riku got the hotel room. He stuck his hands in his pockets. Whistled. Looked everywhere but at Riku. Leaned against something. And put his best 'I'm totally bored' expression on his face.

Riku snorted, then turned a laugh into a cough; he'd seen that exact expression before, on one of his previous lovers, who hadn't quite come out of the closet all the way yet. More like just stuck his dick out. The cough turned into a real laugh at the mental imagery, and Sora spared him a long-suffering glance that read, hurry the hell up?

"That'll be eighty three oh five," the clerk said. Riku handed over his debit card, signed the proper paperwork, and took his card back as well as the room keys and handed one to Sora as they walked towards the elevators. Sora accepted it and shoved it into his back pant pocket, again with all the casualness he could muster, and Riku really had a hard time keeping his giggles to himself.

"What's so funny all of a sudden?" Sora demanded suspiciously as they waited for the elevator to reach the lobby. "You don't laugh like this." Riku couldn't quite catch the first snicker that floated out at the question, but managed to quell the rest of them firmly.

"Nothing," he lied. Sora wasn't really doing that bad a job of acting disinterested; Riku was just...not nervous, Riku was never nervous. More like, ah, anticipating. Yeah. Anxious? No, not that either, anxious sounds immature.

"Pfft," he muttered to himself. Sora gave him an odd glance as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. They stepped in and Riku allowed the doors three seconds to close before he grabbed Sora and swept him into a bruising kiss.

Sora was a bit startled at this sudden affection and, in his defense, had no idea what was going on. So he could be excused for curling into a fetal position at the sudden grabbing and moving of his person. It might've gone well for them both even if he'd curled up a half second later than he did-it would've put his ankle against Riku's back, a highly desirable position.

However, the universe, having done them such a favor earlier in the evening, decided that it wanted a little bit of payback, and Sora's knee landed fantastically in Riku's groin.

Riku went down with a groan that was amazingly high-pitched, considering his usual speaking voice, and lay on the floor, holding his injured parties and wondering why the hell he'd picked such a clumsy bastard to get it on with.

Roxas, meanwhile, was at the track. He was alone, without his battle buddy, which on its own was offense enough. He'd also decided to be there at around 0500 hours, which was much earlier than most drill sergeants were out and about on a Sunday morning, but conversely was much earlier than most other soldiers were as well, and was therefore not just alone but the only soldier out of the barracks at that time of morning.

It was unusual then that he hadn't been yelled at yet, he decded as he made another lap around the track wearily. He'd been running for a good forty minutes already, and his usual stamina was sapped by the drinking he'd done last night and the dehydration that had resulted. That and his ass really, really hurt. Fuck, did they not have lube even? He groaned, thinking about it.  
Then his eyes went wide. What about a condom? Had they used a condom?

Oh, fuck, Roxas, he though to himself, you've really done it this time. Not like you could get pregnant at least but that wasn't the point, was it? Point was that HIV passes more easily though the anal lining than it does the vaginal lining, and that he didn't even know the damn sergeant that well, and God only knows where he'd been.

Point was that he still couldn't shake the damn attraction to him. Roxas liked his red hair, even trimmed close as it was. Liked his green eyes. Liked the lankiness of him, liked how comfortable he was in his own skin. But damn if it wasn't still wrong, and damn if it'd never hurt as much to be wrong as it did now.

What the hell am I supposed to do? He asked God, pleading. I like him. Could even love him, given time and a chance. But I can't. Everyone's said that You don't do gay people. They say I'll go to hell. And that's not a risk I can take, God. But what if You don't really care, and I'm just throwing away my chance at love for nothing? I'm still friends with Sora, and he's gay. He isn't a bad person. But that's his choice, and just because I'm his friend doesn't mean I have to agree with it. So what about me?

The heavy questions weighted his feet until he slowed his run, then walked, and finally stopped.

Standing in the middle of the track on a military post in south Texas, Roxas fell to his knees, then sat down, and finally propped his arms on his knees and his head on his arms. And Roxas prayed for an answer.

Sora had managed to drag Riku into their hotel room without causing him further injury-how, Riku would never know, as he was a good twenty pounds heavier than Sora was, and if he'd managed to put him down like he had earlier, why hadn't it happened again? (Not that he was going to ask or needed an answer!) Currently he was too busy engaged in icing his balls (and alternatively wishing that ice didn't fix almost anything, as it made one's bits and pieces seem a little less impressive then normal) and hoping against testicular torsion.

"That'd be the last thing I need," he muttered. The pain had more or less subsided now that his testicles had gone completely numb. "Fuck this, I'm not icing anymore." To prove his point he threw the ice across the room moodily and curled back into a fetal position. Sora watched, biting his bottom lip and wishing he could disappear. Or combust from embarassment. That'd be OK too.

"I'm sorry," he apologized for the umpteenth time. Riku grunted; while he wasn't really mad at Sora-he had grabbed him very abruptly-something in his biology just wouldn't let him tell the guy it was OK.

Because it was not OK. Very not OK. Very painful.

And worse was the fact that he was NOT going to get ANY action because of this.

Oh sure, he'd told himself he'd be careful, wouldn't force himself on the man, but hell, who had he been trying to fool? He'd have jumped into bed in a New York minute if Sora'd asked him to. And now he doubted he could've if he tried; as much as Sora turned him on...Riku was now VERY tender.

Emphasis on the VERY.

"Don't worry about it," Riku managed to grind out. He blinked, pleased with himself for finally saying it. His voice was a little breathy, sure, but he'd sounded almost normal. He sat up, unable to keep from hunching over a little still, but flashed a thumbs up at Sora, trying to put him at ease. He frowned when it didn't work as well as he'd hope, and began planning how to complete the job.

Sora partially relaxed, relieved to see his friend at least sitting up again. He'd been so worried...and embarassed. Never in his life had his clumsiness resulted in something like that. Usually he ended up hurting himself, or looking stupid, but he hadn't managed to hurt someone else before. His shoulders slumped a little at the realization.

"Seriously," Riku murmured in his ear from behind, making him jump a little, "I said, don't worry about it." How had be gotten there, Sora wondered? He ran his hands up and down Sora's sides, soothing and exciting him at the same time. Sora shivered, barely persceptible, and leaned back into Riku's chest.

Riku took his time with Sora, pulled his shirt of gently and then ran his hands over the younger man's skin gently. His ribs, his shoulders, his nipples. Down to his waist, over his hip bones which jutted out just slightly. Riku marveled at his leanness, turned him around gently. Never had he had a lover who was this lean, but with enough musculature to make him very interesting.

Not classically handsome, not even classically anti-hot type handsome. He'd be closest to the skater sort of look, he imagined, but he could possibly pull off several different genres. Sora's breathing got a little heavier and pulled Riku back to Earth, drew his attention to Sora's obvious arousal.

"Riku," Sora said. Riku looked into his eyes, tucking his thumbs under Sora's waistband, and drew them down in the same motion as he knelt. Sora's eyes went wide, and silently thanked God that he'd ever enlisted.

* * *

AN: Mm, angst and smut in the same damn chapter. Hells yes. I actually made myself write this one, instead of writing whenever inspiration struck. It was sort of a reward for myself for working so hard these last few days to get everything clean! I'm almost done now, and had a nice evening to myself. Sorry it was so short. :P

Hope y'all liked it. Not sure where it'll go next, but I have an ending in mind. Pretty sure y'all will be pissed, but, eh...it's what needs to happen. For sure.

Peace! -kettish.

PS-thanks to all the readers who've continued to review each chapter! Y'all know who you are. You make it worth the writing!


	13. Chapter 13

* * *

Summary: "I am an American Soldier," Sora repeated with the rest of his platoon. And to himself, he continued, and I just so happen to be gay.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. :P

Apology: ...runs and hides in the closet I'm sorry!! I know this has taken forever, but some recent bouts of depression, coupled with an upcoming move, have made this a really hard story to bust out. Really hard. Really really really hard. But I'm going to work on it some more and give it another go and hopefully restrict the British out of my language (I've been diving into the Doctor Who fandom lately).

WARNING: Chapter contains fellatio. If you don't know what fellatio is, or are not of legal age to read adult fiction, please exit now.

* * *

Riku was kneeling. In front of him. Oh God. Oh dear sweet Jesus in heaven. Oh please.

No, Sora definitely wasn't the most coherent at this point in time. Ah well, he dismissed it muzzily, isn't like I'm taking an IQ test anytime soon. Riku touched his tongue gently to Sora's cock and Sora jumped out of his reverie with the shock of it.

Riku kept a wary eye on Sora. This wasn't something that anyone could accuse him of forcing on someone, yeah? Not like a guy in the world would refuse it. But seriously. He took the tip into his mouth thoughtfully and gave a 'hm'.

Sora collapsed back onto the bed, popping himself out of Riku's mouth audibly. Riku blinked, nonplussed, and peered up over the man's chest to see if he was alright.

"Legs," Sora said breathlessly. "Weren't working anymore." Riku grinned, the first one Sora'd seen out of him, and prowled up to over him with something akin to a purr.

"Too much?" he asked. Sora shook his head in adamant denial, paused, and then shook it harder,  
just to make sure he got the point. Riku laughed then, and Sora saw something in him relax. Sora could see that Riku was wearing a genuine smile now, not the smirk he usually did, and it made something in his chest very warm.

Then Riku lowered his body down to dick-level and the warm and fluffy was suffocated, as Sora suddenly had trouble breathing.

* * *

Roxas prowled up and down the PX, searching for something. What, he wasn't quite sure...he had his Bible already, had visited the chaplain, had done everything religious he could think of. And still he had no answer to his life-long problem.

So now he figured he'd get some lube, 'cause his ass still hurt like fuck. And a condom. Because he knew one thing for sure: he might not be right, but he hadn't had sex like that in years, and if the sergeant (Axel, he reminded himself absently) was already open to the idea, he might as well get some more while he had a chance.

Besides...the man hadn't been that terrible beforehand. Roxas had enjoyed himself during the evening, laughing riotously with the red-haired German and putting back pints. Maybe, he thought quietly, just maybe God would forgive him a little if he could have a proper relationship, instead of both being gay AND having one-night stands.

Maybe. Roxas knew it was a slim chance, and probably wishful thinking, but oh...he wanted. He wanted so much.

And so he bought his lube, and condoms, wishing briefly he'd been sober enough to be able to guess what size Axel might wear and grabbing some for himself. At least there was that, he consoled himself: he hadn't just bottomed. He'd topped too. That's not so bad. At least they could share.

Roxas suddenly snorted, secreting the items away into his backpack and checking around him to make sure no one he knew was about. As if that made God any more kind about the whole thing.

Dammit.

Flipping open his phone, Roxas made a quick call to Sora to tell him he'd be staying onpost. He wouldn't, of course, but he didn't want his friend to know he was breaking all sorts of rules. A junior enlisted soldier did NOT get it on with sergeants, on or off post. And after all his stubborness on the subject he didn't feel like hearing Sora gloat.

The phone rang.

* * *

Sora panted, absolutely entranced by the sight of Riku's mouth on him. It was gorgeous. It felt gorgeous. It looked gorgeous. Well, it looked hot as fuck is what it looked, and it felt hot too-hot and warm and oh God that's good just there! He grabbed the covers with one hand and touched Riku's head tentatively with the other, not wanting the man to think he was going to push his head down. He himself hated that, and wouldn't do it to him.

Riku moaned when Sora gave his scalp a slight touch, and then a gentle scratch. That was nice. He was being a real gentleman about this, doing his best not to thrust up and gag him and not being pushy. This could work out, Riku realized, startled. He isn't really going to turn me in. He's ok.

With that wonderful-amazing-oh so lovely thought to spur him on, Riku regrouped, then attacked again, wishing to God that his bits and pieces weren't so...sore. Damn, that was not helping. Woof. The more excited Sora got, the more turned on Riku got, and the harder Riku got, the more Riku hurt.

"Ok," Riku mumbled, "maybe the ice was a good idea." Sora stared at him, brows furrowed, and tried to make sense of the phrase. Except he was feeling exceptional at the moment, and blood was being diverted to a different area than thinking required. It took a minute more than he'd have liked, all things considered, and then he gasped.

"Are you ok? Wait, hey-" Riku had swirled his tongue to distract him-"Riku, no, seriously, wait a second." Riku reluctantly stopped, pulled Sora's cock out of his mouth. Then pouted.

Sora stared. "Um...you want...uh...some tylenol? Or something?" he offered, stammering, wondering why Riku was glaring at him when he was just trying to help.

"No," Riku said, grinding his teeth, "I want you, dammit. But my parts aren't exactly working with me at the moment." Sora looked stunned.

"Wait, not working? Like, at all?" Riku rolled his eyes.

"Of COURSE it's working," he said, crawling back up to eye level and grinding into Sora's hips just enough to prove his point, then winced. "It just isn't very pleasant."

Sora shot up, rolling Riku to his side, and then pulling his pants up. "Well then we'll stop," he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "And drink. That'll help." Riku groaned.

It was at the precise moment Sora's phone rang, and Riku shot out to grab it before Sora could. "Hello?" he snarled, not in the mood for interruptions.

"...Aritake?"came Roxas' voice, tentative.

"What?" Riku snapped.

"Just, ah...I'm still stuck on-post. Y'all don't worry about waiting for me," Roxas offered quickly.

"Fine, bye," Riku bit out, and then snapped the phone shut forcefully. The door clicked as Sora, fully dressed-and stealthy as fuck, how'd he get that quiet?-shut the door behind him on his way out to find pain-dulling liquid sustenance.

Riku gave out a holler that sounded more like a shriek, moaned, and fell back onto the bed, where his imagination decided to torment him with the fantasy of the exact opposite of what'd just been happening.

This was Not. Funny. At. All.

* * *

Sora tried adjusting himself carefully as he went down the hall. It wasn't that he hadn't been MASSIVELY ENJOYING Riku's physical attention, but he was pretty sure the poor guy was hurting like hell about now. And that would just not do. Anyone of his was going to be taken care of.

His, he pondered. Well, sort of. Not quite yet. Getting there? Sora frowned, suddenly wondering if Riku liked topping or bottoming more. Hmmm. He hoped bottoming. He really did. He could enjoy it too, but he liked the way the extra work of topping made his muscles burn.

Ok, that wasn't helping calm him down any. Ok. Think. IED hits the convoy truck in front of you,  
what do you do...

* * *

Roxas was sitting in the same bar he'd been sitting in last week. In the exact same seat, even.  
He'd hoped that maybe Feuerrot would show up at the same place as last week; maybe it was his place to chill, y'know? But no. He hadn't seen hide nor hair of the sergeant. Roxas grumbled into his drink, SoCo and coke. Hey, it was called Southern Comfort for a reason.

A hand landed on his shoulder and a leering face appeared next to his, all red hair and green eyes and teeth.

"Hey there private!" the sergeant crowed. "What's up?" Roxas stared a moment, then looked down,  
feeling ashamed all of a sudden. All that reasoning was just so much hot air-this was still wrong. The sergeant eyed him, and then sympathy filtered into his vision.

"C'mon, Roxas," he said gently. "Let's get out of here. We'll go...talk, or eat, or something"  
Roxas looked up at him with an almost wild look in his eyes. What? "You look like you could use a good meal, anyway. C'mon, let's go."

Roxas got up slowly, carefully, and stood there a moment, looking at the taller man. Then he simply nodded and followed him out. It was too late for forgiveness, he thought sadly. The sin was already committed. Might as well roll around in it a while.

* * *

Author's note: Ok, so, sorry that took a long ass time. I've been having a hard time with my husband being gone, and some antidepressants (which I swear, suck the creativity out of you, but make life a lot better if you need 'em). But now I'm going ot make a concerted effort to get this story going again-it's only about half done, if that; I've got a lot of ground still to cover. :)

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed!! That is...

AngsterGangster Chizz-muffinChik Immortal Fisheh MissWasabiLemon Alcorion hunni C A K E Your Sweet Suicide madame nonchalant AbnormallyWeirdPerson Accoustical Trance DramaQueen1193 Kira Sakura StarShine SoBright Sarehptar Shironess Zileto YaoiFanGirl101 Strawberry.Waterdrops Cassie-san Sansoris Alex Ro-chan13 (I'm sooo sorry about your back! Go get acupuncture, the VA sucks)  
FunkyColdMedina katiesquilts

Additionally, someone emailed me with some questions about the story; I've lost the email, if you could resend it (or even better, send it in a PM) I'll make sure to get it this time.

And finally, as always-support your troops! Peace!


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